I really resonate with your post.
I am 2 plus years out, and last night my wayward said something similar.
I had the same question for him.
He's happy that we are together, he's happier with who he is as a person, and he thinks everything is okay.
Well, maybe it is okay for him, but it's not for me.
Yes, he says he has become a better person, the person I thought he was.
But prior to his affair I always thought he was a good person, that is what he lead me to believe. But he wasn't.
So how am I to now simply trust his words. His words are mud, and meant nothing prior.
I have no answers for you, but wanted to offer my support.