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Newest Member: kdeegandy (46044)

User Topic: Where's worse than in your own bed...
growing
♂ 43298
Member # 43298
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, it's on the dining room table.

She's been telling me they only ever did it in this one other place (which was such a ridiculous thing for me to have ever believed, even for a second, and then to not call bullshit on and just ignore it for almost a year, god I feel like such a fucking idiot!!) and now I have to piece it together myself from what I could dig up that they fucked in our house on our dining room table.
Where I eat. Where I've been eating the whole fucking time. Eating with my wife and kids. Or crafting with my kids.
Or eating romantic post-A dinners with just my wife, that I cooked or she cooked, bathed in candlelight from the candles I brought so that we could gaze lovingly into each other's eyes across that table as we try to rebuild, rebuild trust and love and intimacy and passion. That same dinner table in the dining room of our house where she looked across into my eyes knowing that the ghosts of her and POSOM were fucking right there on our dinner plates while we ate. His balls in my spaghetti.

Why do WS do this?!? Why can't they just fucking tell us?!? After all that has happened, why must they now choose to torture us too?!?
Seriously why? WS? Anyone?

fWW read my marked-up copy of "how to help...". Things improved. That was a month ago. WTF?


Me: BH 40ish
Her: WW 35ish
Married 13 years
DD 3, DS 7
EA/PA: 1yr/6mo
DDay: 11/1/2013
TT: 8/12/14, more on the way?
FB NC breach: 8/15/14
2xIC
MC on hold because he was worse than nothing. Maybe we'll find an infidelity specialist.

Posts: 21 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Northeast USA
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get rid of that table.

I wouldn't be able to even look at it.


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Bigger
♂ 8354
Member # 8354
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I can think of a worse place... The OM had sex in my fiancé...


"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

Posts: 5586 | Registered: Sep 2005
Camalus
♂ 40199
Member # 40199
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That table should be in the back yard, dosed in Kerosene, and burning so fast it would make WW's head spin.


Me–BS age 61
Her -- WS age 59
Married for 34 years
One child, 30yrs

Her 'A' 1994(?) through 1998
D-Day 7/4/2013 Yes, I didn't find out for almost 15 years... but the pain is just as bad as if she were with him last week.


Posts: 127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Near Houston Texas
Razor
♂ 16345
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what itainteasy said.

get rid of the table. donate it to charity (good will or something like that) or just take it to the land fill.

I know this pain. I was away for some weeks time and OM pretty much lived at our house while I was away. There wasnt a place in there that wasnt *marked* by him. including our bed. our shower. our 2 person jacuzzi tub with the gas fire place next to it. there were other places but WW conveniently *forgets*.

I tossed what furniture I could. and eventually we sold that house and moved away.

When my dog craps in the backyard I bag it and toss it out. that is exactly what you should do with that table.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
Melian40
♀ 41205
Member # 41205
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our car, but for now I can't afford to change it.
The table sounds easier to change.
How disgusting our WS can really be.


BW-me:40
BH-him:41
DD-age 9
Together 7 years, married 17 years
DD1:8/12/2013 -OW1-PA 1.5 months in 2009
DD2:8/17/2013 - OW2-EA Spring 2013- He tried to hit on her but she denied.

"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"


Posts: 219 | Registered: Nov 2013
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My kids' rooms would be very high on that list...


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6741 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Pentup
♀ 20563
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would be tempted to take a big ol crap on that table.
Then take the kids out to McDonalds and tell your wife to have that table gone by the time you get home. That way your last memory of that table will probably trump the mind movies.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6718 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Ascendant
♂ 38303
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That blows goats. I'm sorry.

It's truly awful


Other people are not medicine.

Posts: 2304 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pentup - I think I have a girl crush on you.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6741 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
TheIrishGirl
♀ 43496
Member # 43496
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pentup takes the cake on this thread.

I never understood the desire to do that on the table where everyone eats. Plus, are they really built to hold 300+ pounds?


Me: 31, BW Him: 38, WH
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email

Posts: 808 | Registered: May 2014
Lovedyoumore
♀ 35593
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take it to the yard, take a hammer to it and beat the crap out of it. Then, use a chain saw if you have one. Reduce it into small pieces, box it up and take it to the dump or place curbside.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1611 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Didact
♂ 42867
Member # 42867
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, it's on the dining room table.

Same here. The disrespect is part of the whole A thing, but knowing that doesn't make it easier.

That table has/had always been one of my favorite pieces of furniture. It's what it is. We will likely sell it at some point.

We're in R, but that room (and the guest bedroom) still scare the shit out of me. I think we're well on our way to reclaiming the other areas around the house, yay for HB....


No matter how painful, life either adapts or it dies.

BH (Me) 49
WW 48
Married 1985
D-Day Mar 19, 2014
1 year passionate EA/PA, ended by me on d-day.
Attempting to R


Posts: 270 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: PNW
NeverAgain2013
♀ 38121
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, that type of downright skanky behavior - disrespecting your entire family by desecrating the very place they eat their meals and gather together - is about as low as a woman can sink. I'm embarrassed FOR her.

Anyone with THAT little regard for her family needs to learn a few tough lessons.

I'd send her ass out to work at a part time job at night - doesn't matter if it's breading chicken at KFC or flipping burgers at Burger King or waiting tables at the freakin' Waffle Hut. In fact, the worse the job, the better in my opinion. Let her WORK and EARN the money for a new table since she had exactly ZERO regard for the current one. Maybe when she's flipped enough burgers to buy a new one she'll begin to understand the concept of respect.

I'm so disgusted by her behavior that I don't even know what to say. You need to come down HARD on her for this one. Don't let it go, Growing. Set a precedent NOW.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1956 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
megahertz
♂ 44306
Member # 44306
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The only place I know for sure is our car, which we still have. She and my 8 y.o. daughter spent an hour cleaning the inside the day before, which was one of the many tipoffs she was having an A. She had never before or since cleaned it. Probably had sex other places including in our home, but two years out, my WW still hasn't told me everything.

Sell the table on CL and buy yourself something nice with the proceeds.


BH: 52
WW: 47 (four APs)
3 kids: DD14, DS12, DD10
D-days: Oct 2012, May 2013, Oct 2013 and July 2014

Posts: 109 | Registered: Jul 2014
OK now
♀ 14459
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would keep the table after engraving a picture in the wood of the OM and your wife locked in each others arms. Something for your WW to see every time you had a meal. A humiliating reminder of her betrayal; the place where she fucked the OM and eats together with her family. Explain that off to the kids when they get older.

Burning the table makes it too easy on her; she can burn the memories at the same time.


Posts: 1869 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
painfulpast
♀ 41038
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tell her she has one hour to get the table out of the house.

in that hour, sell as many of HER things as you need to sell to go get a new, very nice, table.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
38years
♀ 43864
Member # 43864
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pentup, you rock!!!!!


Married nearly 39 yrs
Me: 61 yrs old, always faithful
WS: 64 yrs old, 2 ONS 1978, EA (he says) I 2013

DDays: 12/11/13, 12/18/13, 12/27/13 (he's big on TT)
Also discovered he cheats with 2 women while we were engaged, 40 years after the fact.


Posts: 37 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: SC
JanaGreen
♀ 29341
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tell her she has one hour to get the table out of the house.
in that hour, sell as many of HER things as you need to sell to go get a new, very nice, table.

I like this.

I also like Pentup's idea but really, how many of us could crap on command?


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 5-year-old daughter. Baby Green 2.0 expected June 2015!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 6972 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it would feel good to drag it outside and beat it to splinters...all of that pent up anger used to destroy the table....geez I'm so sorry they did that. Sickens me.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 3:48 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5277 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 35
Pages: 1 · 2

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