I know how hard it is to fight the urge to let them know what you are feeling but IMO it's a waste of time. You will never know if he's actually read it and so what if he does? You know your WS, would it make a difference. He read your previous letter and it didn't.
That said, write it anyway. It will still help you get it off your chest and may have the benefit of giving you some focus or clarity.
I didn't write a letter but I did make a list of all the things that he has done and why I was angry about it. It helped me to stop things going round and round in my head.
[This message edited by AmSoDone at 4:02 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)]
He was right. It was the last personal missive I ever sent her.
She never addressed it directly. But here are a couple of choice quotes when I asked her about it
- "I could see your brain working".
- "It's not romantic enough".
- "We should just be friends".
Instead of getting it off my chest, it became another source of trauma for me. I don't know if she has read it since.
Write it, because you need to write it, as what he does makes you feel a certain way. But don't give it to him.
Work on yourself, so one day his brokenness becomes not your problem. That's the only way you're going to heal yourself. What he does.. Well, doesn't matter. He either gets you or he doesn't.
Rejoice in hope, persevere in tribulation, be devoted to prayer. Romans 12:12
She responded to none of them.
If you have a message that you need to get across that you think the WS needs to read over and over and over again to really get your point, then do it.
Sometimes in the emotional places of our conversations much is glossed over and forgotten.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4)
I still have it.
It actually is written with little hope for R or the continuation of our relationship. I think I knew it was over then.
It didn't do any good.
Sending it to him would have either caused brain damage by a blame shifting, rugsweeping, gas lighting response or no response at all.
Write as much as you can. I did angry ones, funny ones, business-like ones - the whole gamut. I didn't bother sending them to him because he is a man who is blind by choice. He deserved no more of me - not my love, not my pain. He was unworthy of it.
Last year I posted about the Final S email exchange. You'll see me trying to reach out to him and him saying some very pretty words.
Read it knowing what I have to deal with now. Read it knowing that 20w later this then 40 y/o loser told me he was ready to introduce his 24 y/o office gopher to my then 4.5 and almost 2 year olds as his GF. She wasn't even DDOW. I didn't realise she was an OW until she was about to meet my children. It just about killed me. Honestly.
He meant none of it. He felt bad for making me feel bad momentarily but it wasn't any kind of remorse.
Here it is if you're interested.