I was also hoping for some guidance on what to expect. There has been so much drama in my life for the last year and I would like to have an idea of what might happen. I know my WS will be angry, I am totally fine with that, but I was hoping to hear some stories of what other people have experienced when doing so, if they were contacted by the OBS, or a WS who's BS did this.
I found out from the OW's adult daughter. OW was caught by her family. I met with the other BS once and talked with him once by phone and the daughter one other time by phone. That was enough for me. I had so much pain of my own going on that I couldn't handle theirs as well and went NC with them. The initial meetings and phone calls were a much needed eye-opening jolt - I needed to hear them vilify my X the way I was doing it with OW. Reminded me big time that both were guilty.
I am glad they called me. I knew immediately it was the truth.
[This message edited by kernel at 5:42 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]
@hopeful325 That is a good tip, I was wondering about that, I will totally pay the $1
I have thought about that my WS is his OM, and will feel the way I feel about his WS, so in my drafts I have tried to be as factual as possible.
I am also hoping that maybe OBS can find out more information than I have, my guess is that she has held on to things and hasn't deleted all the 'love' correspondence like my WS has.
I want to do what is right. Not just what is easy. Somedays I feel as if telling her is more self-serving for me because I want to mess with the OM's life. Somedays I feel that it is my duty to tell the OM's wife, because if it were the other way around I'd want to know.
Other days, I feel like its more compassionate to not tell her because of all she has to deal with, and who am I to add to that. I really dont have any obligation towards her....As you can see I am very torn.
Those are things I have thought of as well. I have no idea who this guy is, and I know the emotions and thoughts I've had going through this. I"m afraid of what he might do as well as what the OW might do. Her life has been pretty unphased by all of this.
The more I think about it, the more I feel like throwing up.
Bs13. Many have raised this question but I see few who regret telling. Sure, the all too frequent OM or OW lights off like a Roman candle, but you owe nothing to him.
Wouldn't you want to be told?