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Need Advice/ 1st post

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Heartbroken1979 posted 8/6/2014 19:55 PM

I'll try an be as brief as I can. My bh ha 2month EA and PA with a co-worker back in nov/dec 2012. I was also 6weeks pregnant with our 3rd son. With all the stress my health and the babies struggled until at 20weeks I just decided to put most of it on the back burner and focus on the baby only dealing with what I had too. Well we went to about 10 marriage counseling sessions. It was a slow hard road at first towards reconciliation. He broke NC a few times and moved out/kicked out a few times. I would say since April of 2012 he really started working towards R. We had small up/downs and I never truly felt I dealt with everything. Our son just turned one (had medical issues rough year) so now I'm starting to go to the gym finding a counselor (which I have no idea how to start looking). I have been having a un easy feeling so I looked at my WH phone last night. He always deletes his history (yeah I know we have had a few discussions) I find a way to retrieve visited sites. Also WH confess back during PA that porn was an issue. Which for our marriage/ belief is just like cheating/big no. Well in his phone data log is 18 porn sites (phone is only 4 months old) 3 dating sites. One is called when I did digging he has a profile. We have a meeting with the marriage counselor tomorrow. Confronted him last night giving him the opportunity to tell me anything (just told him I found stuff I didn't like on his phone-not what). Tonight he confessed to the porn sites but nothing to do with dating sites. I guess I'm looking for advice, suggestions, words of advice. The one I found that is linked to an email I needed to ask for the the password says where he lives, what he is intreated in, etc but it shows no activity. I just don't know what to think. Also does anyone know if u go from one IPhone to a new one if your data transfers? He is trying to say this stuff is really old?

2married2quit posted 8/6/2014 20:04 PM

I don't know what to tell you. I'm no one qualified, but I can say I'm sorry for your pain. We here in this group know the pain involved. Hugs to you.

IMO, he needs counseling. He really needs to come clean for why the need for all this stuff. But meanwhile, worry about you, your healing and your health. Do not forget that.


Heartbroken1979 posted 8/6/2014 20:10 PM

Thank you 2married2quit. This time atriums I know I NEED to talk to someone. With 3 very young children, a puppy, and I own a very busy daycare out of my home 60hrs a week. There is no me time and I always have been bad about putting me last. I just added in the gym and that has been insane just to get there. I'm trying to figure out do I need a counselor, therapist? And then there is a long list: they need to take my insurance, be open late/weekends, have knowledge dealing with infidelity as well as anxiety disorders. So I have hit a major hurdle finding someone.

2married2quit posted 8/7/2014 10:11 AM

infidelity as well as anxiety disorders

yeah...I'm a survivor of both. Can't say it's easy. For the short term, find someone (a friend, a relative a church counselor) to talk to. This is a great place to vent as well.

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