So it wasn't exactly news to me, but in MC it was brought up that I suffer from an abandonment "schema."
I was given up by my parents as an infant, adopted by my grandmother who later died when I was seven from lung cancer. I was then adopted by my aunt and uncle who I grew to know as "mom" and "dad." Dad cheated on mom when I was 12 and left to marry OW. Dad and OW moved out of state, but I visited often. When I was 18 I entered a four year abusive relationship. Geesh - I have never written this all out before...
I met my fiance when I was 23 and we were engaged a year later. I thought the pain would finally end. When I was 29 he cheated. One year ago. Fear of being alone has definitely contributed to my agreement of R, but I still believe that there is hope. He is definitely trying but has his own set of issues.
Obviously I can't change my past, and honestly I felt like I had handled/dealt with it in a healthy way since leaving the abusive relationship. I have forgiven my adoptive father, stepmother, and the universe in general, but I wonder how much this affects my efforts now.
Has anyone else handled this kind of issue? Do you find it hard to let go, detach, or otherwise handle your R in a reasonable way? My WBF has a tendency to flee when things get hard (his parents would fight when he was little and he would always run away) and I panic when he does so. Is there anything that helps?