Don't do this to yourself. I understand the need to do it, but in reality, it doesn't change anything.
If you're going to R with this person, she needs to be doing whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable so that you don't have to patrol her 24/7 to survive.
If R is not going to happen, patrolling her is irrelevant.
And no, whiskey and energy drinks do not count as hydration.
WATER, dude. It's not fancy, I know, but it's necessary. Eat something. Breathe in and out and get through each minute of each day. It will get better.