Either he thinks his reflexes are the same as when he was 25, he's distracted by something (why I'm posting this here), he has a death wish, or I Don't Know!!
It makes him grumpy because he can't work out and he's in pain. Lots of it.
I'm thinking of telling him this: "I don't know what is going on, but forget about you and me, we have a little girl who would be crushed if her Dad wasn't here to walk her down the aisle. You really need to be here for that."
or should I just keep quiet about all this?
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”
I understand the "can't work out thing,"- that is the worst!! Part of what led into my H's affair was him being injured and AP being all "You are still the strongest person in bootcamp!" So, I'd watch for signs of needing to fill that workout void!
Sorry, that probably made you paranoid rather than helped! It is hard for men in particular to deal with aging in regards to their physical prowess.
But also, has he had his eyes checked?
It is hard for men in particular to deal with aging in regards to their physical prowess.
I think it may be this.
He goes for his physical Sept 2 - his 52 birthday - and I'm sure he'll be checked out for all these injuries.
What does he say? Is he concerned about it?
I will mention the eyesight thing. thank you.
[This message edited by rachelc at 9:39 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]
TG - I'm worried that he has a take it or leave it attitude about life, doesn't value himself/us/our life and has thrown caution to the wind. And kind of - that something is weighing heavy on him and distracts him.
[This message edited by rachelc at 9:52 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]
People who have sleep apnea, tend to be more accident prone, you know why? Cause they don't get the rest a normal person does, when your brain can't get a break it doesn't work as well.
Time to start making calls, and demanding things get done, before he kills himself, or someone else. Seriously.....
Has he ever had a take it or leave it attitude before?
I have to say that I did get obsessed with being in shape, too. I ran my first half marathon at age 38 and my first Tough Mudder at 40. I spent a lot of time exercising.
I don't think this is wayward trend. Lots of people, especially men, are afraid of getting older. If this happens at the same time where they have the time or means or extra motivation to get in shape, I think a lot of people take this direction. Lots of people overdo it too, or refuse to recognize their limitations. I see lots of 40 and 50 year-olds with athletic injuries. That is probably just a function of age.
On the other hand, I believe that waywards need to be aware and mindful of our feelings and moods. We need to be honest about what we are doing and why. If I am trying to keep up my 20 year old pace and failing, I may get frustrated. THAT is not a good emotion. It's better for me to be mindful of my limitations and my feelings towards them. We need to be honest with ourselves at all times, about everything. Even if that means slowing down a bit.
As for how to bring up the topic, I am at a loss. Personally, I have added yoga in the place of some of my crazier routines. I still want to feel healthy, but I am starting to recognize that injury prevention is the first priority, and looking decent, or improving my half marathon time, comes after that.
Hang in there.
Do you have sleepiness during the day?
Do you snore while sleeping?
Do you awaken with a headache every morning?
Do you routinely wake with a dry mouth in the morning?
Have you ever awakened from sleep gasping for breath or choking?
Do you find it difficult to stay awake while watching TV, Reading, or attending a lecture?
Has anyone told you that you hold your breath, snort, and move often during sleep?
Do you ever experience muscle weakness when excited or emotional?
Do you have difficulty falling asleep?
Do you have difficult staying asleep?
If you answer Yes to more than one, yes just one then you need to have a sleep study.
Sleep disorders when left untreated can lead to:
Poor performance at Work and/or school.
Show this to your husband. PLEASE!
Is your husband working to be better in his future....or is he fighting to keep his past alive?
I can see how it could be particularly hard for a person who chose adultery to enhance their fantasy world of "recaptured youth" to accept their post-A reality. Add to that the aging factor....and totally see why your husband doesn't want to give up on some activities geared towards younger bodies.
I could also see how more false intimacies could be chosen instead of maturing and growing.
But I do think a spouse is called to influence the other. Now....to do that with tact and love and NOT in controlling forms. That's the key.
You both are on my prayer list.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:33 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]
This has been really helpful for me too. It was the push I needed to get my hubs in for a sleep study as well!!
Rachel I hope your H is getting set up as well.
But dr. was more concerned about the neurological issues that the crashes may represent. But that we'll start with the sleep study.
I had no idea that he woke up to dry mouth, was tired during the day, etc.
You saved us again, tushnurse..thanks!!!!