BW early 30's
For the last month or two WH and I have been discussing R. Well, a bit more that just discussing... I guess I would have to call it dating. We live separately, and don't see each other every day, but go out to festivals and dinners etc. Last night he came over and we were watching a movie and having a couple drinks. He kept texting, I thought it was his friend... But at one point he pulled me in to cuddle I saw her name in his conversation history. Above mine from twenty minutes before when he sent me a silly picture. He was sitting next to me, holding my hand and texting that skank.
I got upset, but figured that since we had been drinking it was a bad time to talk about it. So I just went to bed. This morning I woke up obsessing about the broken NC. Likely it was never really NC. We argued, and he says that he doesn't talk to her normally, but not because of me. That he hates the way it makes him feel.
How the hell am I supposed to take that other than "your feelings are irrelevant". Is there anything that my angry brain is missing?
It feels like this is when I should call it quits, go back to 180 NC. Ride out the rest of the separation and file for divorce when the mandatory year is up. But part of me still wants to find a way to work it out. Does that ever go away?
Separated March 2014
Kintsukuroi: the art of repairing broken pottery with gold and silver laquer, and understanding that it is more beautiful for having been broken