I don't know what else to do. We have been reconciling for 10 months. He has been doing so many things right: nc with AP, loving me, being super kind and considerate, some MC and lots of reading. I have agreed to forgive him but the damn TT is killing me. I
I keep asking what it is he is taking to his grave. I get days of new information and gut wrenching details (November, January, June and August) and Everytime he swears we are at ground zero. He was so giddy in June with the fact that he felt so free it was all out there.
Yesterday i woke with the sensation it was the tip of the iceburg. I found out about a long suspected fling that really was consummated though he denied it for 28 years and another ONS with a stranger he met in w hotel bar from 25 years ago.
Today he had a physical and blood work done. I finally made my appointment with the Dr. for STD testing, too. He had three short term affairs early in our marriage 28, 26 and 25 years ago. He then "found Jesus" and all was well until 1 year ago when he fell in lurve with a COW. In the trickle truth today he told me he led her to believe he was willing to leave me, though he would "have to take care of me". This conversation was the very day that I walked in on them in bed together. He dropped her like a rock.
I think I need to separate from him for awhile until he realizes the TT is killing me. It has physically taken a huge toll on me. Today part of his list of things to do is schedule a lie detector test. I have an apartment at a friends house that is open to me. Should I leave and do the 180?
[This message edited by Ginny at 11:27 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]