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I'm having a miscarriage....

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TrulySad posted 8/7/2014 12:58 PM

It's been going on since Saturday night. We hadn't planned this baby, but I can honestly say we were excited. The doctor is watching my HcG levels, and they are sloooowly dropping. I knew it was over on Saturday night, when my symptoms were lessening. It's been six days of cramps, spotting, contractions, blood work every other day, and nothing happening yet.

And at a time when I needed him to be the man he claims he is...he's failing every day .

We didn't tell anyone about the baby. We were waiting to make sure something like this didn't happen. And now that it's happening, I'm having to fake normal for my kids and friends, while I wait for it all to be over.

It's so fricking hard. I'm trying so hard to make this time about a life that's being lost. Yet I can't share this with anyone. And I hate him for failing yet again.....His lies and who he's been always seems to cloud everything.

ShiningAutumn8 posted 8/7/2014 13:01 PM

Id reconsider why you feel you cant share this loss with anyone, or share whats going on in your life.

Can you tell a parent, family member, friend what you are going through? More women then naught have been through miscarriages and they can offer you support.

I think when we try to portray images of our lives as "perfect" to those outside ourselves, we write ourselves a lonely future.

There is nothing wrong with you that you should fee ashamed about miscarrying OR feel ashamed about your husband cheating on you.

I am so sorry you are going through this, and sorry he is not being what you need him to be.

5454real posted 8/7/2014 13:02 PM

I am so sorry.

Prayers and strength

(((TrulySad)))

MovingUpward posted 8/7/2014 13:06 PM

(((hugs)))

Sending prayers

hopingforhappy posted 8/7/2014 13:08 PM

I understand, we had not told anybody either about my pregnancy when I miscarried. It is difficult and awkward to call a friend and tell them that you are going through this. What I discovered years later is that it is a very common occurrence and many people don't talk about it. I encourage you to call a friend and give that person the chance to support you. They might even surprise you and tell you that they have been through it too. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this, on top of everything else. ((TrulySad))

BtraydWife posted 8/7/2014 13:14 PM

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby.

I agree you should reach out to someone. Even just one person you trust.

There was a life growing and now there is not. Trying to pretend like nothing is happening is very unhealthy mentally. You have to be able to share this with someone. I'm sorry your husband can't be that person. Don't wall yourself off.

Infidelity is already so isolating. This is asking too much of yourself to act like you haven't suffered a tremendous loss.

Your hormones are going to start to wig out too. Don't be surprised if your reaction gets more extreme in the next few weeks. That's what happened with my miscarriage. I thought I was doing ok then a while later it hit me even harder.

Be kind to yourself. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby and I'm sorry he can't be supportive of you.

heforgotme posted 8/7/2014 13:14 PM

(((TrulySad)))))

Summerluv123 posted 8/7/2014 13:30 PM

I too went through this about 26 years ago. We had already told everyone we were PG and it was hard having to go back and tell them we weren't. I learned after that not to tell until I was about 4 months along. I did go on to have 2 great kids.

I could not even imagine having to deal with all of this crap along with a PG or a miscarriage. My sympathies are with you and hope you are taking care of yourself.

sunny58 posted 8/7/2014 13:35 PM

((((TrulySad))))
Iím praying for you. Take care of yourself.

solus sto posted 8/7/2014 13:52 PM

(((TrulySad)))I'm so very sorry. I know how painful it is, emotionally and physically.

Please tell someone you trust. You need the support of someone you can count on.

Shinypenny posted 8/7/2014 13:54 PM

I'm so sorry! Please find at least one trusted person to speak with! You need support now more than ever. You have nothing to be ashamed of! My heart goes out to you...

TheIrishGirl posted 8/7/2014 13:56 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my first pregnancy at 12 weeks, and it was awful. Physically I didn't have to go through much- it was diagnosed at a regularly scheduled ultrasound, and I had a D&C later that week as I wasn't miscarrying on my own. At some point will they suggest a D&C? 6 days of bleeding and contracting sounds pretty awful, and if you just want it to be over with the risks with a D&C are relatively low.

I completely understand the desire for privacy at a time like this, but I found it very helpful to have people to talk to about it. I'm now very open with both my miscarriage and fertility struggles. That are horrible things to experience, and for me part of the awfulness was the surrounding silence.

Please feel free to PM me about this, I'm happy to listen and share my experience.

JanetS posted 8/7/2014 13:59 PM

I had a full term stillbirth 24 years ago. I know your pain.

Consider sharing this. I went to group therapy for a few months and it helped a lot.

I am sorry for your pain.

KeepCalm_CarryOn posted 8/7/2014 14:30 PM

Just wanted to offer hugs...(((((TS)))))

happierdays posted 8/7/2014 14:42 PM

Sending you hugs and healing vibes.

Aubrie posted 8/7/2014 14:43 PM

Oh TrulySad. I'm so sorry.

When I lost my baby, we had our own reasons for not telling. I had to hide the emotional trauma alone. QS reacted horribly. He was no support. I stuffed my pain and grief.

Please don't stuff it TS. You've got an SI army behind you. There are moms here who know and understand your pain. You are not alone.


(((((TS & baby))))))

nowiknow23 posted 8/7/2014 14:45 PM

((((TS)))) I'm so very sorry, honey.

jo2love posted 8/7/2014 14:47 PM

((((TrulySad)))))

I'm so sorry. Sending you hugs.

kiki1 posted 8/7/2014 14:48 PM

(((TrulySad)))

I'm sorry your having to go through this.

We're here for you, but dont be afraid to share your grief with a friend or family member. It has to be incredibly hard to fake normal over this.

What is it you'd like for your h to do for you?
Could you share that with him??

Hugs,,,,,,,,,,

ReconcilingWife posted 8/7/2014 14:58 PM

I am so sorry. I have had two miscarriages, and they were heart-wrenching to endure even when my marriage was stable.

If you don't want to reach out to friends in real life, perhaps you could join an online support group? I was part of a group of women who miscarried around the same time as me on the Babycenter website. They were a godsend!

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