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I can't do it anymore

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imagoodwitch posted 8/7/2014 14:50 PM

DD22 is moving to NYC to go to school.

We went apartment hunting last weekend.

Never in my life have I ever sent more paperwork just to lease an apartment.

As she is a student, she has no income so WS and I will be guarantor's for the lease.

Everyday the realtor needs something, sometimes twice a day. I am expecting to have to give a DNA sample soon and maybe a kidney.

We still do not know if she has an apartment, we found one, it's cute, in budget, do-able.

Well today, I have just about had enough, it's time to shit or get of the pot so to speak, do we have an apartment or not? DD gave a deposit, filled out the applications, we sent bank statements, pictures of our drivers' licenses, pay stubs, letters from employers, tax returns, you would think we were buying the place!

So just for shits and giggles, I looked for apartments today.

I found a couple that will take students without guarantors, apartment is closer to school.

DD called me a little while ago, I asked her how firm her budget was as I found another apartment and was waiting to hear back from the realtor (different one) who listed it about whether utilities are included.

She just started pissing and moaning! "It's a fake listing" "That can't be real" blah, blah, blah. Just negative.

I said okay, I am sending you the link anyway, check it out.

For some reason that really, really got on my nerves.

I went for a walk around my building at work.

When I came back from my walk, DD called me and said "there is no counter space" "where is the tank for the toilet?" blah, blah, blah.

I lost it.

I told her, "I'm done, I am not going to let you talk to me like that anymore" "I'm trying to help considering the circumstances, if you don't want my help, fine" "I will see you when you come to get me at work".

And I hung up the phone.

That was the straw.

I am ready to say goodbye to everyone and move to Mexico with my Mom.

I have held it together being the only parent around for my kids for 7 fucking years now, I can't do it anymore.

[This message edited by imagoodwitch at 2:50 PM, August 7th (Thursday)]

kiki1 posted 8/7/2014 14:55 PM


It'll be ok, your doing great!!

Kids, they do have the inordinate ability to push us to the edge at times. And how we love them!!

Hold on tight, it will pass.

imagoodwitch posted 8/7/2014 15:01 PM

Now I feel guilty for yelling at her

metamorphisis posted 8/7/2014 15:05 PM

I imagine this whole thing has stressed you both to the max. DD 17 and I get that way.. when we should be supporting one another I get impatient and she gets surly. I bet you'll both feel worlds better when this is all said and done.

imagoodwitch posted 8/7/2014 15:09 PM

I hope so!

We've got 2 weeks before she has to move and no place to live.

I love her to pieces but she is driving me crazy!

miadianna posted 8/7/2014 15:10 PM

(((hugs))) I remember this all too well with my kids in college. No help from their father, none. Apartment hunting with my daughter in downtown Chicago was something so foreign to me and totally overwhelming. I broke down more than a few times during those years. I had no idea how it worked, it was all new to me.

Between the two kids in college at the same time, I added it up and discovered alone I moved them in and out of dorms and apartments 18 times before they graduated. Up and down flights of stairs with their stuff in the heat, or in the freezing cold.

Hang in there, it is exhausting mentally and physically.

metamorphisis posted 8/7/2014 15:28 PM

You know it's funny, but dd 17 is a year away from college or University but she has to submit her grades from next semester for acceptance and it's creeping up on us. So we've started having more serious "what's the plan?" discussion. 50% of them end in tears. . The kid is scared, I am scared, and it's probably not going to get better. My mom said that this stuff happens so that you're ready to push them out of the car on the day they leave.

authenticnow posted 8/7/2014 15:39 PM


That IS stressful! I hope she gets settled into a manageable place soon so you can be done with all of this (although you're never really done ).

Newlease posted 8/7/2014 15:58 PM

I firmly believe that when teenagers get ready to leave the nest they become real pains in the ass. It is nature's way of making it possible to let them go.

This too shall pass. Hang in there!


imagoodwitch posted 8/7/2014 16:42 PM

After a 40 minute silent commute home, she made me dinner and we are preparing to go to the grocery.

She didn't even grumble at her siblings like she usually does

We are all super stressed about this move/transition but she pushed that last button....... and well, you know

I'm going to miss her when she's gone but she has to go and do this not only for her future career but she's not a small town girl.

Kajem posted 8/7/2014 23:34 PM


No words of advice.

Just more hugs,

NaiveAgain posted 8/11/2014 14:48 PM

((((Imagoodwitch)))) I am not sure how anyone survives the teenage years.....

caregiver9000 posted 8/11/2014 15:25 PM

This thread makes me hyperventilate...

The stress! ooooweeeee.... You know that saying "I don't pray for strength because I might hurt someone?" I have been there!

A few days ago I texted a long distance friend and said, "Let's run away to Scotland, raise sheep and hang out the corner pub." The immediate response back was "right after this god awful meeting."

It must be going around?


nowiknow23 posted 8/11/2014 15:52 PM

"Let's run away to Scotland, raise sheep and hang out the corner pub."
Room for one more?


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