I'll second authentics question. What does SHE want?
I said many of those same words for four long years out from Dday #1 in 2010. She didn't want any of those things and rugswept right into OM / A #2.
We love our spouses and our families, but unless your wife is willing to do the hard work involved in everything you described, you can want in one hand and do you know what in the other and see which hand fills up first.
Wishing you luck and strength.