Well you can have IC as a requirement for R.
Also, you have to keep the discussions in order and put things in the right perspective. Sure, there were issues in your matrimony prior to the affair that could have been contributing factors. That part is fine. However, he can NOT blame you for the affair because that was a choice HE made, not you.
My FWW would talk about thinks and try to keep it in the right order. There's lots we can talk about as to life prior to A. Then there's the A itself and then life after the A. There's also lots of talks about FOO and her own personal issues that could have been contributing factors.