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Working on Reconciliation but feel like DD again?

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OkNotOk posted 8/8/2014 09:48 AM

This truly is the hardest thing ever.

WH had finally got "it". Even though we were working on reconciliation before and kept TT for several weeks.

That was last week. This week, I'm being hit with overwhelming sadness, hurt, anxiety, all initial feelings after the dd are back.

Is this cyclic?

devasted30 posted 8/8/2014 12:04 PM

Absolutely. Extremely normal. Sometimes, the brain can deal with it and sometimes it can't. Ergo, you push it aside and other times you just cannot. The TT is a killer. It sets the clock back to Zero. I vacillate constantly but, the good news, not as often after 19 months and not for as long.

devasted30 posted 8/8/2014 12:04 PM

Duplicate post

[This message edited by devasted30 at 12:04 PM, August 8th (Friday)]

ScarlettA1 posted 8/8/2014 13:00 PM

I think it cycles for awhile. My BH bounced around with so many different emotions the first three months. It doesn't happen as often but I recognize it and I have asked him to explain what he's going through.
I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I wish you peace.

OkNotOk posted 8/8/2014 15:11 PM

The TT is definitely a killer.

He finally understands this and he was really just protecting himself by not giving the whole story.

And thanks, I wish it would stop. My whole world is spinning and stopping without any control.

And at times I've thought, was I really happy? He was so awful to me the whole 16 months that the A went on. He made me want a divorce.

and for some reason, I can't remember before that. And we've been together 30yrs.


hihn posted 8/8/2014 20:46 PM

TT is truly a healing killer! I have dealt with it for 6 months, I think/hope it is now done rearing it's ugly face. My WH insisted on giving me full disclosure last week. I think he expected me to react differently than I did. But as I told him "after he told me about the 20+ sex partners in our 26 years together what difference would 30+ make" however, there was one thing he did to one of these women that made me feel horrible ashamed that someone living under my roof could be capable of doing to another person, it was subhuman of him. Apparently 13yrs ago a drunk women approximately 50yrs old came to our doors saying she had no money & needed $20.00 to get home. My WH told her he would give her the money if she had sex with him, so she did. I felt like he might as well have raped the woman.

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