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Reconciliation :
Working on Reconciliation but feel like DD again?

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 OkNotOk (original poster member #44229) posted at 3:48 PM on Friday, August 8th, 2014

This truly is the hardest thing ever.

WH had finally got "it". Even though we were working on reconciliation before and kept TT for several weeks.

That was last week. This week, I'm being hit with overwhelming sadness, hurt, anxiety, all initial feelings after the dd are back.

Is this cyclic?

posts: 52   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2014
id 6902484
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devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 6:04 PM on Friday, August 8th, 2014

Absolutely. Extremely normal. Sometimes, the brain can deal with it and sometimes it can't. Ergo, you push it aside and other times you just cannot. The TT is a killer. It sets the clock back to Zero. I vacillate constantly but, the good news, not as often after 19 months and not for as long.

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6902689
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devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 6:04 PM on Friday, August 8th, 2014

Duplicate post

[This message edited by devasted30 at 12:04 PM, August 8th (Friday)]

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6902690
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ScarlettA1 ( member #43533) posted at 7:00 PM on Friday, August 8th, 2014

I think it cycles for awhile. My BH bounced around with so many different emotions the first three months. It doesn't happen as often but I recognize it and I have asked him to explain what he's going through.

I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I wish you peace.

posts: 51   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2014
id 6902794
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 OkNotOk (original poster member #44229) posted at 9:11 PM on Friday, August 8th, 2014

The TT is definitely a killer.

He finally understands this and he was really just protecting himself by not giving the whole story.

And thanks, I wish it would stop. My whole world is spinning and stopping without any control.

And at times I've thought, was I really happy? He was so awful to me the whole 16 months that the A went on. He made me want a divorce.

and for some reason, I can't remember before that. And we've been together 30yrs.

30!

posts: 52   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2014
id 6903002
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hihn ( member #43986) posted at 2:46 AM on Saturday, August 9th, 2014

TT is truly a healing killer! I have dealt with it for 6 months, I think/hope it is now done rearing it's ugly face. My WH insisted on giving me full disclosure last week. I think he expected me to react differently than I did. But as I told him "after he told me about the 20+ sex partners in our 26 years together what difference would 30+ make" however, there was one thing he did to one of these women that made me feel horrible ashamed that someone living under my roof could be capable of doing to another person, it was subhuman of him. Apparently 13yrs ago a drunk women approximately 50yrs old came to our doors saying she had no money & needed $20.00 to get home. My WH told her he would give her the money if she had sex with him, so she did. I felt like he might as well have raped the woman.

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 6903380
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