I need to tell my adult child too. I just want to do it before he knows so he doesn't feed her the lies. Any advice would be great.
He's still cheating on me. He just had a nice booty call session with his ho this morning. Told me he had to go to work early so that he could leave early. Was with her from 7-10 and then went into work. He told me one thing but his texts said another. I'm so sick of being lied two 10+ times a day. Barf. Who needs this?
Many prostitutes. He tried to reform one but when she wanted to commit, he bailed. Now he just pays for sex. I moved out of our home as I couldn't take it and felt unsafe.
Trying to divorce.
Don't say anything to your WS. Let the papers do the talking.
{{{hugs}}}
k9
If this doesn't apply, the choice is yours. For shock and awe, don't tell him. If you know (not hope) the case will be amicable, then you can tell him that you have filed.
The best place to have the papers served is at work for shock and awe.
[This message edited by Schadenfreude at 12:36 PM, August 8th (Friday)]
I'm all for the shock and awe factor. I had XWH served at OW's house. Where he wasn't supposed to be, because, you know, I was overreacting and paranoid.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
"Here is a copy of what you will be served tomorrow"
and left. The shock/confusion on her face was priceless; so was the all too predictable anger, talking bad about me to my DD, etc. So glad she had a nice long night to dread the morning. Fuck her.
I'm so sick of being lied two 10+ times a day. Barf. Who needs this?
No one does... Only you can make it stop when you want to... Just do it, and start toward a much better life. I know it sounds cliché and hackneyed, but I'm living proof of it, even when at times I forget it. Best of luck, and get to work on that D
The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...
Tell your daughter now. Let him find out when he's served.
I think it would be awesome if it was possible to have him served at his whore's house. Could you imagine?
It's really great that you are taking this step. He sounds nasty.
Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson
Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.
What doesn't kill me, scars me.
If you are concerned about your stbxh pulling financial shenanigans before he is served if he is forewarned, then try to tell your D at the eleventh hour, but before she hears it from him.
He has lost the privilege of you forewarning him as a wifely duty, he fired you from that job while he wallows in his A. You needn't worry about him anymore. He's his own problem.
edited for typos (I always have to!)
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4)
He could take money out and he could make himself unavailable for the server.
She should continue to protect herself as much as possible and that means no advance warning of being served.
Telling older daughter okay..even better if process server agrees to notify you either right before service or asap after service because of your time sensitive needs (The best would be before so you are talking with daughter as it happens)
In most, if not all, US jurisdictions law enforcement agents (LE), like cops & sheriff's work @offduty rates for services such as this, state fairs, monster truck rallies, etc. hehe. And yes, they come in uniform and that uniform makes a BIG impact..better than a civilian.
In my case, I had my husband served without notice at our workplace, which happened to be an Air Force Base (we were civilians). Little did I know it, but I got even more bang for the buck (and the sheriff's fee wasn't outrageous either). When outside LE has an issue with someone on the base, first the MP's must be involved. So it went like this: the MP's went to summon my ex in full view of however many 100's of workers that were in the aircraft hanger (the majority of whose work he supervised as QA), then escorted out (one on each side), then he was taken to the JAG (the legal office) given his service, and then escorted back. I died laughing when I heard.
― Maya Angelou
Did I read that right???
"Tell because that is the right way to do it" Did I read that right???
I think you got it from another post? I did a quick word search on the page and didn't come up with that in any of the posts. It sounds tho, like it refers to telling the other BS?
Given the ugly circumstances that he has created, you don't owe him any consideration. I would not give him a heads up that he is going to be served. That might give him an opportunity to play games with money. He is NOT to be trusted.
Another positive thing about letting this be a surprise for him is that he, too, can see what it feels like to have the rug yanked out from underneath him. Jerk!
Big hugs
However, it makes such sense when I heard others here say things like he never went over the status of our relationship with me when he decided to have his affair, I don't need to now.
Remember, as soon as you start this process, it's a business deal. My lawyer's motto is to stay in control and be one step ahead. When she feels the control dropping she takes action. So far, knock on wood, we've been in good standings. But again, we have a web of lies beyond the cheating we are uncovering!!
Good luck!
