SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Doing the little things again

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

918Mama posted 8/8/2014 20:31 PM

Last night I was away until after the kids were in bed, working in schoolwork. I hadn't had any dinner and figured FWH hadn't either, so I picked up some of our favorite starters from a local restaurant and had an adults only picnic with my man.

He talked about how nice it was and how surprised he was, and I realized something...I don't do the little things for him anymore. Obviously after d day, it wasn't going to happen. But I think in the last couple of years of recovery, I just stopped caring about doing the little things that make him feel special and important.

Today I picked him up a coffee on the way home. Again, getting something for the kids and thought "ooh! The mister would like that!"

His birthday is next week and I'm thinking of ways to make him feel special. Bless his heart, I don't know how he's hung in there the last 2+ years getting NONE of this from me, but doing all the little things FOR me constantly and consistently.

I guess new life can come from dead things after all. Who knew??

Now...who has birthday ideas???

AFrayedKnot posted 8/8/2014 20:34 PM

Time Ticks On posted 8/8/2014 22:39 PM

That is so sweet :) For his birthday..take him somewhere he likes to go like a day of hiking, bowling, whatever it is he enjoys. For me the best gifts I get are the ones I have mentioned I like while out with my husband. Such as I would say off hand, I wish I had a huge basket of bubble bath and laughed. He got it for me for xmas.

Hurtbuthopeful35 posted 8/9/2014 07:37 AM

If he really enjoys the little things, what about little notes leading up to his bday?

You could write "I'm glad you are born because..." (I get to hear your infectious laugh. You gave me our children. Etc.) hide them where he will find them (a sticky on his coffee cup, a note in his briefcase, tucked in a shoe).

One year my husband went on a business trip. After he packed I tucked notes in his belongings so he'd find them whenever he used them. I wrote things like, "I love you from head to toe" and then would tuck it in a sock, for example. He still mentions it.

peaceBmine posted 8/9/2014 07:55 AM

LA44 posted 8/9/2014 11:45 AM

I don't know how he's hung in there the last 2+ years getting NONE of this from me, but doing all the little things FOR me constantly and consistently.

918Mama, this takes a lot of maturity to acknowledge. Have you read the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman bc what you are doing - bringing thoughtful gifts reminds me of that. Do you like gifts? I do! Even the little gestures like a cup of coffee say, I know you.


Birthday gift ideas? What does he like? golf? running? travel? eating? So many options once you know and I am sure you do!

Great to read a positive post!

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy