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Betrayeduk posted 8/9/2014 15:25 PM

Well, SS comes back from a week with her tomorrow. WH is doing some training for a new venture. I will be at home when she drops my boy off.

Do I:

1) just let my boy come in on his own. And stay well away from her.

2) answer the door and see her. She doesn't acknowledge my existence even when I'm in front of her. It's like I've done something wrong banning it from entering my house.

Schadenfreude posted 8/9/2014 15:35 PM

Ever see the scene in The Godfather where Michael,simply has a stone cold look on his face and shuts the door on Kaye,,his ex wife who doesn't have child custody? As was said in Sleepless in Seattle or You've got Mail ( I can't tell those two,apart) you can learn a lot from The Goodfather.

Say thank you and close the door in her face. No law says you have to admit her into the house.

Remember,,she will always be the mother of SS so don't be overtly hostile. Just totally indifferent, as though Fed Ex guy just dropped off a package. You're happy to see the package, but indifferent to which Fed Ex guy delivered it. Unless it's Tom Hanks after three years on a deserted island. ( I guess I'm into tom hanks movies tonight).

confused615 posted 8/9/2014 15:35 PM

The child is 15, correct?

He is certainly old enough to get out of the car by himself and walk to the door alone.

I would tell my husband to make it crystal clear she isn't welcome...but I know your husband won't do that. So I would send the boy inside and ask him to wait in his room. Then I would quietly, and calmly, remind that whore that I'm a licensed gun owner and as of two seconds ago she was trespassing on my property, and she better get the fuck gone.

No?

Then quietly and calmly tell her she is never again to set foot on your property, or all of those pics and emails she sent my husband would become public knowledge.

No?

Then quietly and calmly tell her to fuck off and an is never welcome on your property again.

I'm sorry you don't have the support of your husband. Until he pulls his head out of his ads..until he experiences real consequences, this bitch will always be a problem.

But at his age, she doesn't have to get out of the car. If she does, it's because she knows it pisses you off.

[This message edited by confused615 at 3:37 PM, August 9th (Saturday)]

Skan posted 8/9/2014 15:35 PM

Personally, I would focus on getting your SS into the house as quickly as possible and ignore OW. I think that it's gracious of you to allow her to put foot on your property. My inclination would be to tell her to park in the driveway, unload the car, see your SS get into the house, and leave. No need for her to darken your doorway.

Nature_Girl posted 8/9/2014 16:35 PM

The boy is old enough to get his own stuff out of the car & walk to the door/come inside on his own. He doesn't need an adult to walk with him. It isn't necessary. My ex has never ever come to the door to get my kids, nor has he ever walked them back to the door. They are old enough to go back & forth on their own. So is your SS.

Betrayeduk posted 8/9/2014 16:37 PM

Confused 615 i wish I lived in America!!!! My career involves caring for people but I worry if I was ever called to her.

I have dreams of telling her to fuck off and never appear on my property again.

Schadenfreude I will try the closing door i her face 😀

Melian40 posted 8/9/2014 16:48 PM

Wear a T shirt saying something about Karma bus, put your best wide smile and welcome her.

Betrayeduk posted 8/9/2014 16:49 PM

Nature_Girl - I totally agree. Wish I had the strength to make WH. It is one screwed up relationship. Sexting and whatever and un necessary contact. It's fab.

Betrayeduk posted 8/9/2014 16:59 PM

Melian40 - I am soooooooo doing that at some point!!!!! I totally lack imagination lolololol 😀

gonnabe2016 posted 8/9/2014 20:25 PM

She doesn't even need to get out of the car.
She pulls up, stops. SS grabs his stuff, says "thanks, love you mom, see ya later" and then he comes inside and life continues.

So I guess my vote is for #1.

Ostrich80 posted 8/10/2014 01:38 AM

Do you think she will have the balls to get out of the car? If so, then ya, pat Jr on the head and direct him to the door and say buh-bye to slutface, turn on your heel and leave her looking like a dumb ass.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 1:39 AM, August 10th (Sunday)]

homewrecked2011 posted 8/10/2014 02:05 AM

Say thank you and close the door in her face. No law says you have to admit her into the house.

I just read your profile, I'm sorry you are dealing with all this... Can your SS drive yet? I was just wondering. That will stop his mom from coming over--
BTW,,once he can drive, you can move out and he can see you whenever he likes. He'll probably like having a safe place to visit to get out of the drama..

Betrayeduk posted 8/10/2014 04:59 AM

Well, it's done. I've got my boy back 😀

It did come to the door with him. I greeted my boy with a big cheery hello and glad you're back. It handed me a bag of sopping wet clothes and said she's washed his clothes but her washing line is broken and she's not lucky enough to have a tumble dryer. (Little dig at us). I took bag without looking at her and left it at that.

I always feel so wound up when I know she's going to be here. But for some reason I always feel let down and deflated. Maybe because I have these conversations in my head where I get all my frustrations out and it never happens?

SBB posted 8/10/2014 06:23 AM

You did good Exactly how I deal with the sad clown.

I treat it as I would a visit to a public toilet - as quick as possible and with as little contact with the festy surrounds as is possible.

Maybe try imaging yourself trying to wee on her whilst balancing yourself so you don't actually touch her?

I can't imagine having to interact with the whore. Yuck.

[This message edited by SBB at 6:53 PM, August 10th (Sunday)]

jjct posted 8/10/2014 07:50 AM

@ SBB
I'm gonna have "festy surrounds" runnin around in my head for awhile!

jjct posted 8/10/2014 07:58 AM

To the quote thread you go!

Betrayeduk posted 8/10/2014 09:07 AM

SBB thank you. That made me smile 😊 I've been struggling with myself this week. I think that image will sustain me for a good few meet ups 😀

Betrayeduk posted 8/10/2014 17:50 PM

Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SBB posted 8/10/2014 18:55 PM

SBB thank you. That made me smile 😊 I've been struggling with myself this week. I think that image will sustain me for a good few meet ups 😀

I've been right where you are, friend. I know what it is like. Humour has helped me through many a rough patch. Little weird stuff like this especially. If I can giggle between the bouts of howling in the foetus position on the floor then I know I'm going to be OK.

You're going to be OK.

kansas1968 posted 8/10/2014 19:32 PM

Just imagine how it would make you feel if someone completely ignored you. Didn't look at you and acted like you didn't even exist. Just a dead coldness coming in your direction. That is how she will feel if you just act like she is not worthy of even the smallest human interaction. She is no more noticeable to you than a bit of lint. Cold is best. Very cold.