Me: BW, 29
2 things happened yesterday that I think were positive steps in our R.
1) WH opened up to his best friend about that has happened. When we first had Dday, he was upset I had told my best friend about it because he was "embarrassed" and didn't want someone else to think he was a "failure". (A lot of his "why" is low self esteem and feeling like he fails at everything, or making himself fail on purpose so he doesn't even have to risk trying and failing). Well he got together with his own best friend yesterday and told him what has been going on with us, told him about the A, and opened up to him about hurtful things from his childhood he has never discussed with anyone really (until DDay).
2) He invited MY best friend over yesterday evening (she knows about A but they haven't spoken directly to each other about it) and he apologized to her for breaking his promise to always protect my heart and be true to me. She said to him that she forgives him, whats done is done, and what is important is how he handles this going forward, how he lives more authentically and how he takes steps to never make this mistake again.
I am so proud of WH because I have seen such a change in him this past month. He is not defensive when he does something wrong, he isn't beating himself up, he has put his own feelings of remorse aside to help me heal and be open about his past. We have had a lot of great, very deep conversations that never existed in our relationship before. There is still a deep underlying pain that he betrayed me and I am mourning the loss of the relationship I thought we had (never capable of hurting me like this) but I am really starting to see some embers rise from the ashes of what we once had. I am grateful he has broken down his walls and i see him working hard to become a better man. In all this heartache I see him actually really smiling, something I haven't seen in a long time, and I feel like I am getting to know parts of him that were hidden before. I am cautiously optimistic about our R but I love sharing positive stories in here because I feel like it can offer hope to some. I hope you all are having an enjoyable Saturday.
Him: fWH, 28
DDAY 7/4/14 TT till 7/18/14
"Reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice." - Nelson Mandela