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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

New Beginnings :
Exhausted

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 InnerLight (original poster member #19946) posted at 11:37 PM on Saturday, August 9th, 2014

I think the combo of stress/grief about the death of my bro in law has caught up w me. He want in a dramatic way-lack of proper care in an ambulance in Moscow led to a coma. This was in June. Sister stuck in Russia w him for two weeks, me on call for her at all hours. Finally med evac ed home, testing determined no recovery possible and the unplugging of life support. I was w my sister when he passed on June 27.

I've visited her several times since. I've kept it together, but last weekend I taught two days of a bodywork training, 9-6 sat and sun. It was out of town so I stayed w my sister and commuted to school. It was too much. I haven't recovered my energy since.

I did my thyroid labs, they were a bit under but my doc said to take herbs to nourish my adrenals before upping the thyroid hormone I already take. She thought my fatigue was stress related and I agree.

All. Week I was dragging, waking up tired. tho I kept working. Today I don't have to do anything and I am not inclined to get far from my bed. Reading, napping. Viewing the outlander episode again.

I hope I recover soon. It's been a long time since I felt this awful ' chronic fatigue-y' type feeling. It's only been a week of feeling unusually tired. so I hope to come back soon.

The memorial is next week and I am going to print the program, get the photos blown up, and I want to figure out what to say. I'm a bit afraid that I won't be able to stop crying once the memorial starts. There will be 60-100 people there.

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 6904031
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 12:25 AM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

((IL))

i was just thinking about you. You've been everyone else's caretaker. Stop, rest, be your own caretaker. If possible let someone else do for you a little.

you'll be just fine at the memorial. Even if you can't stop crying, you'll be in the right place for that.

it's always nice when you post. go take a nap

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6904058
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 12:47 AM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

Agree with hexed completely - rest and take care of you IL. ((InnerLight))

Thinking of you and your sister and sending you strength and support and lots of positive energy. <3

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6904064
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 InnerLight (original poster member #19946) posted at 1:16 AM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

thanks for the sweet thoughts. I am taking them to heart...and going back to bed!

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 6904081
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yewtree ( member #16671) posted at 5:19 AM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

Hey inner light, sounds like you are getting some much needed rest. I hope you and your sister will be able to breathe once the memorial is done. Take care of yourself!

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 - No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

posts: 4940   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2007
id 6904225
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 5:23 AM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

If you have to cry, then cry. It's normal, natural and cathartic.

As with everything else, you will weather this. You are grounded and present. I'm sending you lots of strength.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6904228
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:07 AM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

You have every reason to feel wiped out IL. I hope you had a good jammy day.

You obviously needed it.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6904251
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 7:27 AM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

((((IL)))))

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6904282
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 InnerLight (original poster member #19946) posted at 6:34 PM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

I spent most of yesterday reading and napping. I wake up STILL tired which is frustrating. My get up and go has got up and went.

My sister said she felt like this last week too. My boyfriend is also feeling it. He was going to visit me today, but he taught a painting class last night and is too tired today. Which is fine by me as I wasn't sure I had the energy to make my place and myself presentable.

Another day with my couch and a book.

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 6904563
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 8:23 PM on Sunday, August 10th, 2014

Glad to hear you're resting and hopefully you'll be feeling better, more energetic this week. Don't worry about crying at the memorial. Everything will be OK! (((IL)))

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5648   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 6904628
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