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Reconnecting with past love

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coz626 posted 8/9/2014 21:24 PM

Reconnected with an old boyfriend and it's been great talking to him. I had found happiness until this week. He's going through something and I can't 100% say I get it. We dated 24 years ago when I was in HS. Broke up just after. He's a really sweet guy who I believe would not hurt me or my girls and I can't fathom he's cheat on me. This week I posted on FB pictures of my ex-fiancée from years and years ago. It was the person that I dated after him. I wasn't dating him at the time that I got together with him but he still took it hard. Anyway I told him that I post pictures two times a year because he died 15 years ago in a motorcycle accident and myself and his friends do it to keep his memory alive. Well I guess the pics were too much for him to handle and I guess I get that. Was a bit of a reminder of that time and how it made him feel when I had moved on. But I still find it weird that he's as upset as he is and that he's distancing himself and saying he needs time to think. Says he loves me but that his head's a mess. Prior to the pictures everything was fine. We live in different states so that is a challenge but everything was going good. Any suggestions or ideas of what's going on?

Red Sox Nation posted 8/9/2014 23:12 PM

Given the situation, you're probably going to have to apologize and give up this tradition if you have any interest in continuing this relationship.

I'm not sure how I'd feel in his shoes - this is a very unusual situation. But I could see it driving a wedge.

I'm absolutely convinced it's harder to have a new beginning after the death of a partner than it is after infidelity ends a relationship.

bigskyblues posted 8/10/2014 05:53 AM

Well as a guy I can see where that might have caused him some concern, especially if he has any self esteem issues. I could see it as a guy that dated a girl 24 years ago, she left me, got engaged, now 24 years later she is back in my life, I am excited to have her back, then he see's the pic's on FB and she is "pinning" for the guy she left me for.....I gotta say that would hurt, how much it hurts I guess is the question.

As a guy I think you need to be very honest with yourself in asking what you want from this "old boyfriend", then you need to very honestly, and directly let him know what you feel about the relationship, and what you want in the relationship.

Directness always worked best with me, it is one of the things I love most about my SO!

BSB

bigskyblues posted 8/10/2014 05:55 AM

Sorry double post!

BSB

[This message edited by bigskyblues at 5:56 AM, August 10th (Sunday)]

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