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I don't normally feel much regret, but it creeps up sometimes in certain moods. I guess I look back at my dating life and feel I haven't really ended up with anything from it. That's untrue, because the experiences have been formative, but I still feel twinges of it. Tonight at a concert I saw two former 'flames' for lack of a better word and given that I am in a sort of stressed place, it made me a little wistful. Even though there was really no there there with either of them! Maybe it's also a variant of the 'I'll never have a real relationship' pity party, also rare for me and total bunk. Besides everything else in my life is very rich and full.

Any strategies when/if this feeling strikes?

norabid, I had a lot of self esteem damage post D. I was eventually able to "see me as others see me" (favorite saying of my dad when he was making a point during my childhood). I came to know that I was a good person, a really good dad, and I had a lot of good things to offer. Knowing how others saw me gave me a lot of confidence, and life has worked out well.

You said

Besides everything else in my life is very rich and full.

Relax a little bit, ask yourself how others see you? I suspect they see someone that is pretty special and at some point that right person will come along, until then enjoy the rich and full life you deserve.

BSB

[This message edited by bigskyblues at 5:29 AM, August 10th (Sunday)]