SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

fay72 posted 8/10/2014 14:08 PM

Here is a letter that I have written for the OW . I haven't actually sent it but I would like to share it with you. I can't have all the credit for this letter as I took bits and pieces from other letters to OW I found on the web and mismatched my own.
A quick briefing me 47, H 47, OW 22 separated

<<<<<here goes

Dear X

Do you have so little respect for yourself,that you have no qualms about having a relationship with someone who has been married for more than 20 years with children around the same age as you?

Did you stop to think about how you would feel if this was your father?
How would your mother feel?

I don't know what happened to you that made you become someone who has such lack of self respect.
I would assume that by his recent portrayal of cowardice and perpetual lying that he did not tell you he was married.

I know I would want to know if I was lied to and degraded the way he has degraded you.

However with your lack of self worth prevailing, you did not seem to care about the fact that you were lied to and used for someone else's pleasure.

You will do some soul searching and realize that whatever it is you're looking to find in life, you will not find it with someone else's man.

You give women a bad name.You make us look weak and degraded, and make men feel they can do anything with us and to us.

Why would you lower yourself like that?

He told you he loved you?
he told me that for 23 years.

he kissed and made love to you?
He's been kissing me and making love to me forever.

He told you he needed you?
Well,he's been telling me that every day for 23 years.

So what happens when he doesn't need you anymore?
If it wasn't you it would be someone else.
It was never about you.
It was about how he felt himself. You were nothing but an ego boost.

You should value yourself enough to want someone who is free, because, make no mistakes,even if he leaves me for you,he's not free.
i'm wrapped in his head,his mind,his thoughts and his spirit.
I'll always be a part of him.

Why have you chosen to become the worst sort of woman there is....the other woman.

Contrary to what you believe I am actually a very level headed and reasonable person.
I hated you at first.
It took me months to overcome the pain and tears.
It will take me years to recover from the insecurity that comes from your behaviour.

But now I fear for you.
When it comes to this relationship we are the same.
I once rode the same high that you lived,I was the special one the prized one.

One must wonder how I suddenly became crazy.
Is it possible for a person to become so unstable in such a short time?
Fot the rest of your relationship you will deny the reality.Your identity will fall apart until you no longer know who you are.

Someday you will know the agony that I am feeling,someday when another tramp slithers her way into your relationship, and when you are laying in a crumpled heap you will think of me.
You will become me.
I would not wish the pain and suffering I have experienced on anyone.
Please have the same empathy for the woman who replaces you.

You thought i was stupid?
I'll take stupid over sleazy,low and cruel.
I can still look myself in the mirror without shame.

Do you really believe that a relationship based on deception will work?
A loving relationship is based on trust,mutual respect, loyalty and honesty.

My children are hurt.You have contributed the potential dissolution of their family.
And if he left me for you?
What would you have gained?
Two emotionally disturbed teenagers.
A man who lies and cheats.
A man who doesn't have the self control to stop himself from doing what he knows is wrong.

Guess what?

If he's not willing to become something better than that? then he's all yours.

At least until he meets another you ,sometime in the future and you become cast aside as the betrayed wife.

I pity you.
Noone does what you have done unless they value themselves so little that they settle for another's scraps rather than demand respect.

Unless they are so disillusioned that they really believe that this is how true love is.

Good luck.

I have no use for you and you will no longer take up my time or even exist in my world.

Signed Proud to be ME

confused615 posted 8/10/2014 14:11 PM

Don't send it. It will empower her. It won't have the affect on her that you want. And it might cause you more pain.

NC means NC. Post it on here..but don't send it.

ETA: I just read your past posts. Does OW still work for your WH?

[This message edited by confused615 at 2:13 PM, August 10th (Sunday)]

fay72 posted 8/10/2014 14:19 PM

No I wasn't planning on sending it but I wanted to share it and it made me feel good to write it all down.

No,she doesn't work there anymore......

GotPlayed posted 8/10/2014 14:54 PM

That was awesome. Change the genres, make the language a bit stronger and I could have written that.

Yes, definitely, don't send it. But you're being heard.

Thank you for posting it.

Ostrich80 posted 8/10/2014 15:02 PM

Yep you touched all bases and its too bad AP don't read these and really get it, but they don't. Good job and you must feel better getting it out of your head.

fay72 posted 8/10/2014 15:27 PM

Thank you for "listening"