SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

GreatRoleModel posted 8/10/2014 16:33 PM

Ok I have been on OLD for a while and it has become comical to me with the men in mid 40's-50's yo range (at least in my area and I know there are good men out there, especially here on SI) and all their pictures in their cars/motorcycles/boats and they are all looking for basically the same woman that has it all: athletic, slender, attractive, comfortable in high heels to jeans and tennis shoes, sense of adventure, easy going, no drama, can laugh at yourself, and not high maintenance...a stepford wife. Oh and they also have an age range they are seeking down to 25 years old.

Well I was just laughing one day and decided what the hell and reworded my initial paragraph to see if any of the men had a sense of humor. I also followed the initial paragraph with who I am and what I value. Here is what I wrote:

First off if you are looking for a woman that belongs in Stepford, CT then you can stop now and I wish you all the best in the land of rainbows and unicorns. Now if you live in the world that is round with a blue sky let's be honest a woman in her 40's brings wisdom, maturity, and life experiences that cannot be checked off on a match profile.

Well I guess the men in my area do not have a sense of humor or sense of adventure because there are no responses or likes. It was a fun experiment and am closing the profile. Think I am going to have more luck in the real world.

caregiver9000 posted 8/10/2014 18:20 PM

I like your experiment. I don't think a lot of people read the profiles. This is based on things that were said or asked of me that were clearly stated in the profile...

I am currently also "off" of OLD.

Good luck in "real" life!!!

Amazonia posted 8/10/2014 19:29 PM

I completely get where you're coming from, but honestly, the wording makes it sound more bitter than funny. I don't think your intended tone is coming through very well.

Humor is really hard to do in writing. What if you drop the first sentence and edit the second down a little,

I'm a woman in her 40's with wisdom, maturity, and life experiences that cannot be checked off on a match profile

I can't help but wonder if you'd have better luck. I think the best advice I got when I did OLD (and it proved very true when I made the applicable changes to my own profile - there's an experiment you could try) was to remove every single negatory word from my profile. Find a way to rephrase anything that is "no", " not", etc.

So things like, "I'm looking for someone who doesn't play games" are replaced with something like "I'm looking for someone who is straightforward and values honest communication." People have a hard time reading a profile and connecting to what they aren't, but am easy time seeing their shared values when you put them in words.

Red Sox Nation posted 8/10/2014 21:25 PM

I agree that it sounds bitter, and there's no way in the world I'd reply unless everything else was absolutely perfect. But even that sentence alone sounds angry and bitter. I appreciate humor in profiles, but I don't see it.

I'd probably appreciate you knowing the original Stepford was in Connecticut, but unicorns need to be doing something interesting to be funny. The nerd in me would give you one appreciation point for Stepford, but you'd lose it for the round world.