I completely get where you're coming from, but honestly, the wording makes it sound more bitter than funny. I don't think your intended tone is coming through very well.
Humor is really hard to do in writing. What if you drop the first sentence and edit the second down a little,
I'm a woman in her 40's with wisdom, maturity, and life experiences that cannot be checked off on a match profile
I can't help but wonder if you'd have better luck. I think the best advice I got when I did OLD (and it proved very true when I made the applicable changes to my own profile - there's an experiment you could try) was to remove every single negatory word from my profile. Find a way to rephrase anything that is "no", " not", etc.
So things like, "I'm looking for someone who doesn't play games" are replaced with something like "I'm looking for someone who is straightforward and values honest communication." People have a hard time reading a profile and connecting to what they aren't, but am easy time seeing their shared values when you put them in words.