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Newest Member: terriblysorry (61534)

User Topic: Feeling down today
♀ 43919
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can only think of the good times lately. When we were happy. When he treated me good. Everything I see or hear reminds me of him. So many wishes right now.

I can't even begin to think that dating another man will help because I will compare them all to him. I just want to be in a happy, loving relationship. Like he's in right now. He's always happy. I'm always left to pick up the pieces.

Just want to wake up from this nightmare.

BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40249 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 44003
Member # 44003
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry Numb. I know exactly how you feel! I guess if we could just jump up and move in, we would be no different than they are. But we are different. Because our marriages and families mean everything to us. I'm sending you a hug and hope you feel better!

Me: BW
2 DD: 18 & 5; 1 DS: 10
Divorced May 2015
'Everytime you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place.' -

Posts: 539 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Hampton, VA
♀ 43176
Member # 43176
Frustrated  Posted: 8:55 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday I was feeling exactly like you, no hope for my future and sad. Tears fell all day long.
Last night I had the opportunity to tell him how I was feeling, what our marriage/family/him meant to me and I saw that I meant nothing to him. He has completely moved on with his 28 yr whore...He made the decision to end our marriage and our family life when he disrespected me (wise people yesterday told me that). I thought about that all night after he left to go out and sleep over at her parents house with her...on this note I fell asleep...
We deserve so much more than this. Period.

Another thing my soon to be XH asked me was 'name one thing you did for us'...when I named things he smirked. Ouch.

Is this damn hard? Yes it is!! Is my heart torn out, crushed? Yes! Do I have a hard time breathing? Yes I do!! I did file for divorce and if I had to do it all over again, I would file again...

Breathe, pray and know that you aren't alone on this painful life altering journey that not one of us asked for.

me- BW him-cheater (2 during our marriage, still with dirty whore)
together 10 yrs, married 7.5
kids- 2 DD and 1 DS
DD#1-Jan 2014,#2-2/2014, #3-3/2014
Filed 4/2014, divorce final 5/2015

Posts: 695 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Iowa
♀ 40898
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Numb))) I have been feeling the same way the last few days. But one thing I do know is it really does get better. Unfortunately we have to ride this emotional roller coaster until one day it will come to a stop. Ive been going through this nightmare for a year now and sometimes I feel like it will never end. But I have good days and wonder why I ever gave him a second thought, he didn't give me one. So I try my hardest to focus on the positives in my life, which don't seem like much sometimes. I will tell you what I tell myself and that is keep your head up high and don't look back. You are better than he is and one day you will find your true happiness. Stay strong.

me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.
Divorced: Jan 27,2015 (Ds 16th BDay)He rem

Posts: 118 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 43304
Member # 43304
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dear numb, i understand every word you say. I understand

Posts: 358 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Hawaii
♀ 43792
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My day was yesterday and here are some (((HUGS))). remember Scarlett O'Hara and tomorrow is another day. I hope it is a better one for you.

Posts: 533 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Member # 43859
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was overwhelmed with the exact same feelings on Saturday. I know it doesn't help much but they will pass. They will come back of course but I like to believe they will be a little less strong each time. I wish there was something else I could say. It is a comfort to me when I know someone else understands. So I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in the pain.

Me: BW 30 (now)
Him: Who cares
DS 6 (sole custody)
DDay May 2014
Divorce Final December 2014
"She took a step and didn't want to take anymore, but she did." --The Book Thief

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jun 2014
♀ 43252
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand how you feel. I cycle from that quite often. One day, it was to the point where I couldn't see much bad, only good from our marriage. It was at that time that I came up with a list of why I will never go back to him. All things that go against what I believe is a marriage.

I refer to this list when I feel like you have and I quickly snap back to reality. It's so hard I know. It's not the person you married, it's what he became. It's in his character, it wasn't in yours to do those things!

Hang in there and hugs to you.

Dday March 11, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.
Divorced 2/2016

Posts: 2506 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ 43539
Member # 43539
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Numb, I feel you! I go through the SAME thoughts as you, it's still shocking and painful.

Broken, I also made a list of the things that I won't miss about being married to STBXH. In addition, I have a list of things that our divorce will BRING to me, such as new travel plans, decisions, or freedom that I didn't feel I had with him.

I recommend the book "Getting Past Your Breakup", because I am reading it and it has really helped. There is a "Relationship Inventory" that the author takes you through and even though it is emotionally hard to will help us to accept the REAL marriage we had, not the fantasy one where we remember only the good times/qualities of our ex.

Sending you strength and positive vibes! Take care and keep posting...

Me (BS) – 37
WS – 36
Dday – 5/25/14
Together since 2003, married 6 1/2 years
EA and PA with COW for at least 3 months WHILE I WAS PREGNANT (still don’t know the truth of the length of this affair or possibly others)

Posts: 52 | Registered: May 2014
Topic Posts: 10

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