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Newest Member: mojorisin (61886)

User Topic: 3rd party for contact?
♀ 37190
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel so needy, all I have is questions ;(

I am struggling with NC. We still share a bank account and need to have some contact. It always seems to end up personal one way or another. I have NO desire to have him back so it's not that kind of contact on my end. It just sends me down roads I don't want to go down. I get so angry that even after losing us he hasn't changed.

I need a 3rd party to be the go between to keep contact to essential stuff only. I know people have done this here. Who did you chose and why? I have no family and my one good friend has no personal boundaries and loves drama so she's not a good choice. I literally have NOBODY to ask ;(

Any suggestions?

Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016

Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an

Posts: 772 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Out of the ashes
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm wondering if you could just change your banking habits. My ex & I still shared a bank account, but that was so he could deposit the monthly family support amount in it, and I would withdraw it & put it in my own bank account. No conversation or interaction necessary, and he didn't get to see what I was spending (although he certainly found out by pumping the kids for info).

Are you certain you absolutely need to share a bank account?

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:33 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you are separated and divorcing you don't need to share a bank account imho.

Get your own bank account it will bring peace to you by not having to deal with your ex more then you essentially need too.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

Posts: 1530 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 32962
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. My ex transfers the child support directly to my bank account. We don't need a joint account to do that. Get your own account and let him deposit the money. No conversation needed.

-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 1025 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ 29322
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As others have said, separation / divorce requires SEPARATE bank accounts. There is ZERO need to share an account for support.

When I was divorced from XWW, I asked her for her account info and then set up a direct deposit with my employer to send money straight into her account.

With STBXWW, I expect to do the same. As a side note, due to XWW antics during divorce, STBXWW and I have never shared ANY accounts.


Posts: 1511 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: WI
Topic Posts: 5

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