Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Remember (46025)

User Topic: 3rd party for contact?
♀ 37190
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel so needy, all I have is questions ;(

I am struggling with NC. We still share a bank account and need to have some contact. It always seems to end up personal one way or another. I have NO desire to have him back so it's not that kind of contact on my end. It just sends me down roads I don't want to go down. I get so angry that even after losing us he hasn't changed.

I need a 3rd party to be the go between to keep contact to essential stuff only. I know people have done this here. Who did you chose and why? I have no family and my one good friend has no personal boundaries and loves drama so she's not a good choice. I literally have NOBODY to ask ;(

Any suggestions?

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, August 10th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm wondering if you could just change your banking habits. My ex & I still shared a bank account, but that was so he could deposit the monthly family support amount in it, and I would withdraw it & put it in my own bank account. No conversation or interaction necessary, and he didn't get to see what I was spending (although he certainly found out by pumping the kids for info).

Are you certain you absolutely need to share a bank account?

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10137 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:33 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you are separated and divorcing you don't need to share a bank account imho.

Get your own bank account it will bring peace to you by not having to deal with your ex more then you essentially need too.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1404 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 32962
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. My ex transfers the child support directly to my bank account. We don't need a joint account to do that. Get your own account and let him deposit the money. No conversation needed.

-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 887 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ 29322
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As others have said, separation / divorce requires SEPARATE bank accounts. There is ZERO need to share an account for support.

When I was divorced from XWW, I asked her for her account info and then set up a direct deposit with my employer to send money straight into her account.

With STBXWW, I expect to do the same. As a side note, due to XWW antics during divorce, STBXWW and I have never shared ANY accounts.

36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.