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3rd party for contact?

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sodamnlost posted 8/10/2014 21:37 PM

I feel so needy, all I have is questions ;(

I am struggling with NC. We still share a bank account and need to have some contact. It always seems to end up personal one way or another. I have NO desire to have him back so it's not that kind of contact on my end. It just sends me down roads I don't want to go down. I get so angry that even after losing us he hasn't changed.

I need a 3rd party to be the go between to keep contact to essential stuff only. I know people have done this here. Who did you chose and why? I have no family and my one good friend has no personal boundaries and loves drama so she's not a good choice. I literally have NOBODY to ask ;(

Any suggestions?

Nature_Girl posted 8/10/2014 21:48 PM

I'm wondering if you could just change your banking habits. My ex & I still shared a bank account, but that was so he could deposit the monthly family support amount in it, and I would withdraw it & put it in my own bank account. No conversation or interaction necessary, and he didn't get to see what I was spending (although he certainly found out by pumping the kids for info).

Are you certain you absolutely need to share a bank account?

Bluebird26 posted 8/11/2014 01:33 AM

If you are separated and divorcing you don't need to share a bank account imho.

Get your own bank account it will bring peace to you by not having to deal with your ex more then you essentially need too.

debbysbaby posted 8/11/2014 08:20 AM

I agree. My ex transfers the child support directly to my bank account. We don't need a joint account to do that. Get your own account and let him deposit the money. No conversation needed.

HurtingandLost posted 8/11/2014 09:14 AM

As others have said, separation / divorce requires SEPARATE bank accounts. There is ZERO need to share an account for support.

When I was divorced from XWW, I asked her for her account info and then set up a direct deposit with my employer to send money straight into her account.

With STBXWW, I expect to do the same. As a side note, due to XWW antics during divorce, STBXWW and I have never shared ANY accounts.

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