6YL, count me in with needadrink.. I also should be known as twentyyearslost. Yes it is possible to go on with the same person if you truly love each other and if they truly consider themselves a different person now, doing the things they are supposed to be doing in a healthy rela. Once they really understand the pain they've caused.. when they really feel the pain they've cause as their OWN pain.. and the desire to avoid causing/feeling that kind of pain is no longer worth the sick thrill of betraying their loved one and being deceitful.
However, that sounds good in theory.. but the TT & false R (especially repeated false Rs..) is the ultimate mindfuck.. because learning to trust again every time you've had a knife in the back gets harder and harder, and it always feels like Groundhog Day.. you're having to endure new DDays over and over.. the worst kind of endless torture that really wears you down. Because the human mind can really only take so much.
Some people may regain some measure of trust enough to function and it's not so much trusting your partner as learning how to REALLY trust/ be more in tune with your gut.. and learning how to really keep an eye on things. Instead of, giving someone the benefit of the doubt. This is the new reality once the innocence is gone. Yes you can learn to trust your partner on a daily, superficial basis but that is more because you're watching everything to the best of your ability, tuned in to cues, body language; you're now asking questions making them constantly aware that they no longer have much privacy, secrecy, etc.. and they need to share everything with you. And when things have improved, you are more tuned into each other.
But that doesn't mean your overall TRUST in humans, including them- will ever really come back. If enough bad things happen to you, sometimes that ability is just gone. And that's just something you have to accept & live with. That's part of their consequences-- they need to fully understand- and never forget- that they ruined that for you.
In theory, you should never give trust away freely- because people (in general) don't deserve it, and can't be trusted. You have to make people work hard to earn it. But sadly- sometimes they will use that earned trust to stab you anyway.... so, my solution now is, I choose to not trust at all.
So yes maybe a little.. but overall, not really.
That probably doesn't make sense. But that's the reality of life after SI.....