Topic: Need Good Thoughts Tomorrow
Member # 17460
| Posted: 5:22 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Hey y'all...it's me.
Tomorrow will mark my 25th Woulda Anniversary. Even though I'm five years post D, I'm anticipating a rough day at sea as most if you get that this storm never really goes away. It just changes direction.
Ex-asshat blocked in every conceivable communicative way? Check.
IC's contact number at the ready? Check.
Schedule full to ensure distraction? Check.
Still I know that at times tomorrow certain memories of that day will flood back. Please remind me that my new beginning is just that, that it's much better to be without him then with him, and if you want to toss in a few reminders to me as to why he is such an asshole, feel free.
Thanks in advance.
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Posts: 21377 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
|Sad in AZ|
Member # 24239
| Posted: 5:50 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
You know we have your back
I'm sorry you're still going through this my friend. I had some of this around DGS's birth, but it's faded, and so will your angst.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Posts: 25261 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
Member # 42092
| Posted: 9:10 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
I'm sorry. It's okay to have the bumpy day. Five years from tomorrow I'll bet it will be easier--does that help?
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 33226
| Posted: 9:20 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
I had my 25th woulda back in January, so I get it. You get a gold star for recognizing it might be tough and lining up self-care ahead of time.
You've got this, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Posts: 40122 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 14003
| Posted: 9:37 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
You know we have your back
A wise woman once said "fuck this shit" and she lived happily ever after.
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
Posts: 16790 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 22870
| Posted: 9:47 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Standing right behind you - mine is coming up in about 2 months.
You can do it. The super-coolness that is you will prevail.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 9125 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 30346
| Posted: 10:01 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Hang in there!
me...BS, 46 years old.
Posts: 4738 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 20150
| Posted: 11:05 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Oh shoot, I can barely remember what day it was... You will too eventually!
Might be a good day to take a kickboxing class?
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Posts: 20570 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 7767
| Posted: 3:43 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
I experienced what woulda been my 25 one year (yes one) after the D was final. I spent the day weeping in my bed. Then I got up and moved on. Now, 9 years later, I don't even remember the day until it has passed.
Sending strength and peace.
Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.
Posts: 8215 | Registered: Aug 2005
Member # 41033
| Posted: 3:56 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Good thoughts coming your way. I know just how you feel. When my daughter was pregnant she was due on what would have been my anniversary. I was so glad she was overdue. The thought of that being my grand daughter's birthday was horrific to me. And I can't imagine having to spend the 22 hours in the maternity waiting room that I did with him if it was on our anniversary. It was bad enough days later but that would have been pure hell.
Five years is nothing. I felt that way 20 years out.
Posts: 803 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 28622
| Posted: 4:01 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Take a deep breath and remember we love ya!!
It will be over soon. And then it will be in the past.
Me: 45, independent, happy, despite parallel parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 15 DS 12
Posts: 7052 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 31468
| Posted: 4:55 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Hey ajsmom, missed you lately! Sorry this date is here, but I know you can make it through, and we're all here for you if you need it.
Good news, is once you are past this one, you're all good, and I'm hopeful it will pass more easily than you think. ((ajsmom))
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
Posts: 5278 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 27035
| Posted: 7:51 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
You got this ajsmom, you're tough. My 25th was 3 months before the divorce, so at least I don't have to dread it coming up! Don't forget to do something nice for yourself in the middle of all that busy-ness.
And thanks for being the Commish!
[This message edited by kernel at 7:51 PM, August 11th (Monday)]
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 19258
| Posted: 8:19 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
we've missed you around these parts.
My X and I were together 7 years before we married. Our 10th anni would have been 7/17/14. I was pretty ready to be bothered by it. Nope...
Not at all. It crossed my mind but didn't send me spinning at all. You may be surprised by your lack of reaction.
You know where to find us!
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Posts: 9593 | Registered: Apr 2008
Member # 34533
| Posted: 8:30 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
You've got this. Sending you (((hugs))) and forgetfulness for tomorrow.
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
Posts: 1061 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Member # 30341
| Posted: 9:09 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Sending the bestest of good thoughts. Remember you can feel all of your feelings Darlin', you don't have to like them or want them, you just have to feel 'em...
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:54
Posts: 4083 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 16671
| Posted: 9:19 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
Hey! Just think how much stronger you will be after tomorrow!!!!
I hope you will do something nice for yourself.
Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)
Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.
Posts: 4906 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 35697
| Posted: 9:31 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014|
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you. – Buddhist saying
Posts: 216 | Registered: May 2012 | From: New Jersey
Member # 33699
| Posted: 7:12 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014|
Thinking about you today Ajsmom. Hang in here. We are all here to vent to when you need support.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
Posts: 3986 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Member # 39139
| Posted: 8:04 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014|
Sending you good vibes!
Me: BS 46
Posts: 978 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: BFE
|Topic Posts: 31|