Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

4 months in and he's still are the kids

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

minniegal posted 8/11/2014 08:30 AM

I could not care less about where he is choosing to live. He hasn't found a permanent place for himself yet - likely due to the fact we still haven't worked on an agreement and he's in denial about how much this will cost him financially. (I'm ready to negotiate - we're waiting for him!)

But the kids have been dragged back and forth from his sister's 2bedroom tiny condo (where they sleep on the sofa and floor) and his parent's place (the two boys sharing the sofa bed). Both of them complained to me yesterday that they can't sleep - they are overtired and sharing a sofa with your brother is getting old fast.

Neither will say anything to him. They don't want him to feel bad that he doesn't have anywhere for them to sleep. But I'm losing patience. If he was giving up his bed and letting them have a turn in sleeping in a bed so they could get a good night's sleep maybe I could see that he would eventually get a space more suitable - but he's acting like this is perfectly fine and is not making any moves to make a change. ugh...NC is tough...hoping to hear from my lawyer this week that we can finally start mediation. Providing a proper bed will definitely be on my list of what is needed to continue overnights!

newlysingle posted 8/11/2014 11:03 AM

I would think you would be able to withhold visitation until he has a place for them to sleep. Or at least not permit overnights. I was able to withhold overnights until the Fnat established a home and beds for my kids.

HeBrokeVows posted 8/11/2014 11:48 AM

I agree with above poster. My kids don't have overnights because he doesn't have a suitable place to live. He actually won't even tell us where he's living. No way would a judge allow the kids to be overnight and he's not asking anyway. I would talk to your lawyer. I can't imagine where overnights are suitable right now.

Gemini71 posted 8/11/2014 12:04 PM

Dipshit has been living in a tiny one bedroom apartment. The kids sleep on the floor in their sleeping bags on camping pads. Since they only visit on weekends, it's like having a 'sleep over'.

Apparently, they've been complaining to Dipshit about it. He's moving to a larger place. I would encourage the kids to express their feelings to your STBX.

Jls0320 posted 8/11/2014 13:54 PM

I am also withholding his overnights until I have a permanent address for him that is not his sluts. He currently staying with her, begging me for money to get himself a place, nope sorry you wanted fantasyland have fun with her! He is starting his few hrs this wed not sure where he will be taking them though and I don't like that at all

minniegal posted 8/11/2014 15:38 PM

I would make an issue of it now BUT I think the boys will get tired of this nonsense faster and will slowly stop going on their own. If he moves to provide a place for them it would make it more difficult for them to say no, or for me to make an issue if he starts to fight for more time.

With older kids so much more is placed on them to have a choice. I don't think it's fair to the kids because it forces them to chose between their parents. I'd rather they spend time with him during the days and come home at night to sleep but we'll see what happens as this moves along. I wish he would stop delaying and just get moving towards an agreement already!

Kajem posted 8/12/2014 09:45 AM

I'd rather they spend time with him during the days and come home at night to sleep but we'll see what happens as this moves along.

Suggest that your boys talk to him. They are old enough to help come up with a plan that works for them. And I would offer the above suggestion to the kids, they might not have thought about it.

Definately stay out of it, they are old enough to talk to him and work on alternatives.


Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 ®. All Rights Reserved.