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My letter to the OW

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OakStreet posted 8/11/2014 08:31 AM

After many sleepless nights, and reading other "letters to the OW", I thought I'd give it a
try to see if it would dissipate my anger (it didn't).
But I thought I'd throw this out there. I have no intention of sending it, but may read it to WH and our MC.

(YAGL - was their secret code for "You Are Greatly Loved." In the Urban Dictionary, it stands for "You AREN'T getting laid.")

Dear Bitch:
I thought I would share a few thoughts with you.
After you sucked my husband’s dick, you told me, “I had nothing to fear from you and you asked me not to let your actions define you. “ You also said, “I’m not some stupid chick that ruins marriages, it’s not something I’ve ever done before or will ever do again.”

Well, let’s define your actions then: you and WH resumed your affair, so you ARE a woman that sets out to ruin someone else’s marriage. You ARE a cocksucker, and you and WH deliberately planned to destroy my marriage, jeopardize my home, threaten my son’s education and my family’s future.

Of course, my WH bears the blame for breaking our marriage vows - as I told you in the days after you revealed you sucked his cock. Knowing this was mostly his fault, I foolishly asked him to apologize to you for his actions. When you resumed your trashy relationship, the two of you must have had a good laugh about that (the apology) while he was groping your breasts and you were rubbing his cock - and while we were going to marriage counseling. LOL.

Again, I mostly blame my SOB husband for resuming the affair with you. He is a broken man with a personality disorder – thanks for bringing out the best in him!

And speaking of disorders, are you off your medication? You alternately call him a bloody liar, a coward, claim to miss him, threaten to expose him at the office, tell him YAGL, call him a fearful dog on a leash, threaten to slap him, still love him.

And after calling him a bloody liar, you apologize and tell him he is not a liar but a good, strong and courageous man. Actually, if you had half a brain cell, you would know that he is, in fact, a habitual liar. He has lied to both of us, repeatedly. A good, strong and courageous man does not take the route he has taken.

You whined that you still miss him and claim I could only keep him by threatening him with shame. Actually, it was you who made that threat when you demanded he talk to you or you would make a scene at work. As I told you, I offered several times for him to leave our marriage and go “be happy” with you. I just couldn’t get him to leave, damn it!

One of my favorite of your texts to my WH is “I hope she knows what a kind and peace loving man she has.” Again, you are delusional. He has been a piece of shit. And you claim that “I know she (me) is hurt, but not as much as me as I have the greater loss.” REALLY, bitch? I have been married to this SOB for 22 years; you have only been feeding his ego for 18 months.

Our relationship, as we have known it, has come to an end. His children know about the affair and are sorely disappointed in their father. My son, although he truly loves his dad, acts as though he hates him.

My WH has hit rock bottom and is unable to say and do the right things for damage control with his (adult) children. There has been a lot of sadness and anger in our lives, not only from our immediate family, but from the people we know that love us.

You say you are a good person and didn’t intend to hurt anyone. But your decisions define you. I hope, for the sake of other women and their families, that you make better decisions in the future.

*Oh, and please look up YAGL in the urban dictionary.

devasted30 posted 8/11/2014 10:04 AM

Great letter. Sorry it didn't help, but maybe after reading it and tweaking it some more, it might do the trick. There is no excuse for their actions. No condoning. No relief from the pain. The only that will help here is time. And time moves so slowly when we are hurting.

OakStreet posted 8/11/2014 12:59 PM

Thanks, devastated.

As I said, I may read it to my WH!

Crushed1 posted 8/11/2014 13:56 PM

(((Oakstreet))) I wrote the ow several letters but never mailed them. It feels good to get some of the haunting thoughts out of our minds at least for a little while.

And speaking of disorders, are you off your medication?

This part made me lol.

She is truly pathetic and delusional with a capital D!

lovesobroken posted 8/11/2014 14:09 PM

Gotta say I loved your letter, so strong and honest!! Hugs.

NeverAgain2013 posted 8/11/2014 15:08 PM

Good for you, OakStreet.

I didn't write the OW a letter. Instead, I printed up a 4 page manual and bound it in a presentation folder and left it in the nightstand drawer by what was my side of the bed. I knew the nosy witch would be looking everywhere in his place once I left and would find it within days - and she didn't disappoint.

Anyway, it was a basic "how to" manual that I'd typed and printed out, and the title in big block letters on the front was, "Welcome to 2nd Place, Loser!" The other 3 pages were pure satire about how to clean the house now that I was moving out (the ex had mentioned she was less than stellar in the cleaning department) and I gave her basic cooking instructions as well, since he'd told me her idea of 'dinner' was a frozen pizza and he'd been spoiled rotten on my cooking.

Lastly, in my closing statement on page #4, I told her that her new 'official boyfriend' had begged me yet AGAIN for the 200th time just the night before to please change my mind and not move out - but I did, anyway. And THAT was the only reason her sorry, fat ass was even there - because I'd told my ex that he had a better chance of shaking hands with Jesus than he did of me changing my mind and staying. I suggested she get a leash for him because I knew he'd be back to beg me many times more to come back (and I was right).

Yeah, that was a whole lot of fun.

LumpyLola posted 8/11/2014 17:53 PM

That's a great letter. Do be careful, though, because she seems like the type that will run to the police with it, trying to get you in trouble for harassment.

From your quotes of her statements, she sounds like someone who truly believes she did nothing wrong, and that YOU are the trouble maker, and probably believes that the police will think so, too. Hey, she's desperate, so she's gonna try anything.

By all means, send that letter, but just be ready for a possible curveball.

OakStreet posted 8/11/2014 19:55 PM

LumpyLola: I have no intention of sending the letter. My WH is her boss. Yeah, she could go bat-shit us.

I'd told my ex that he had a better chance of shaking hands with Jesus than he did of me changing my mind and staying.

Good Lord, NeverAgain!

That manual was hysterical!!!!!!!!

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