SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Getting a sick pleasure out of lying

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

IrishGirlVA posted 8/11/2014 12:38 PM

I have no where else to confess this except here -- by those who get it. Oh, and my BFF who never judges me.

My ex and I have been over for a very long time but we live and work in very close proximity. It's not uncommon to drive by one another or be at the same store at the same time. We also have mutual friends. It's more like a 2 degrees of separation thing.

Anyway, I heard he is building a room over his garage and will be moving in his ex(?)-gf/baby momma's parents. His gf and children are still stuck in another country until immigration figures out how to get them back. Eventually, they are all going to be one fucking happy family again.

One of the things I know about my ex is that he may not want me but he doesn't want anyone else to want me either. More importantly, he wants me to still pine after him.

So, I used the 2-degrees of separation gossip line to leak that I am with someone else and have happily moved on. It is half true. I happily moved on but I am not dating anyone because I'm not ready. Plus, I am enjoying my singlehood too much. But I'm just so sick of thinking that HE is thinking he destroyed me. I want him to suffer, even just a little, with the image of me sharing my bed with someone else.

I'm not proud about lying, and dragging my BFF into my deceit, but a part of me does get a little pleasure from this. When I passed him on the road yesterday I was able to hold my head up a little higher. Does that make any sense?

*sigh*

Thanks for listening to my confession!

[This message edited by IrishGirlVA at 12:40 PM, August 11th (Monday)]

norabird posted 8/11/2014 15:23 PM

I understand. That said, while I don't think you need to retract this planted rumor, don't perpetuate it, and ask your BFF not to anymore either. Think how smug he would feel if he knew you stooped to this, and why. He absolutely doesn't deserve that smugness!

I get that for someone broken like your ex, they equate being single to pining and being in a relationship with winning at life, or something--but how juvenile is that? His opinion of how you're moving on truly shouldn't matter so long as you are doing it in the healthiest way for you.

(((IrishGirl)))

brokeninfl posted 8/12/2014 09:19 AM

Oh, I get it. About 6 months after our divorce was final my exWH was all up in arms because he "knew I was dating" (which I was not, not even close). When he asked about it I told him it was none of his business, which I knew (and got a small sick pleasure out of) he would interpret as a "yes".

So, I really do get where you are coming from, but nora is right, don't play this one out too much. Enjoy the short term satisfaction and keep on with your great new beginning.

IrishGirlVA posted 8/12/2014 09:45 AM

I got a second round of satisfaction this morning which still has me giggling. This time, no lies!

This past year has been awful. The break-up, getting my finances straight, work issues, family problems, a health scare, etc. Got most of those things taken care of and decided I deserved something pretty. Like diamond jewerly or a Coach purse. Turned out my something pretty was a new-to-me convertible. Picked it up last week. It's silver and sparkly. Anyway, was driving into work this morning -- top down, music turned up. Was sitting at a light and making a turn in front of me was no other than the beast himself. He looked, looked away, looked back. A classic double take move. I'm sure he was surprised to see me in something other than my conservative 4-door sedan.

Anyway, thank you for your responses. I agree that I shouldn't make it into a big production. Luckily, before my BFF was able to proactively plant the seed, she was asked by her friend (a guy she used to date but is now friends with my ex) if I was seeing anyone. She told me she kept her answer very non-chalant. In fact, when she told me what she said, I was thinking it was TOO non-chalant. Now, I see that that was the best way to go.

I do feel bad lying and allowing him to still have some emotional power over me but I just want him to know that he, too, can be replaced. That he is NOT the end all, be all. Still working on that in my NB.

brokeninfl posted 8/12/2014 09:49 AM

He looked, looked away, looked back. A classic double take move

Nice!

NaiveAgain posted 8/12/2014 10:28 AM

You know, you can always say that you are really enjoying playing the field right now....there are so many options and so much available! Not really a lie, because I am sure you are dating around a bit.....or going to date around.....

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 10:29 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]

newlysingle posted 8/12/2014 10:38 AM

No matter what, your life sounds much better. I can't imagine having to move my gf's parents above my garage. Sounds awful .

Compartmented posted 8/12/2014 11:03 AM

a new-to-me convertible. Picked it up last week. It's silver and sparkly. Anyway, was driving into work this morning -- top down, music turned up. Was sitting at a light and making a turn in front of me was no other than the beast himself. He looked, looked away, looked back. A classic double take move. I'm sure he was surprised to see me in something other than my conservative 4-door sedan.
I'm lovin' this!!! I have overcome a lot of issues, too and I'd love a convertible. I am still having to wait. No way am I getting a four-door anything!! You go, Girl! How great that you had the top down the first (and second) time he looked! Hee!

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.