SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

WhereIsHome posted 8/11/2014 21:07 PM

Obviously the inner circle knows the truth. As betrayed curious to know what people tell not as close family, coworkers, neighbors, and people they know in community. I would assume you just have to say I'm getting divorced and most people will like oh bummer. If some pry do you say spouse had affair? I hate to take the blame as in irreconcilable difference but also my daughter lives in community don't want to throw mud on her mom. I am sure will be old news really quick not like we are Hollywood tabloid material but still when it's your world you think it's a big deal.

Any tips from experience.

lovehonorcherish posted 8/11/2014 21:25 PM

In my case our close family and friends have watched my life unravel and they all know the truth. Should someone outside the circle ask me what happened I always say "I didn't like his girlfriend". That answer provides the truth and usually stuns whoever is asking into silence

Hopeful74 posted 8/11/2014 21:54 PM

Omg LoveHonorCherish!!! I am so stealing that answer!!!! Lol

HeBrokeVows posted 8/11/2014 22:57 PM

Lol at didn't like his girlfriend.

My friends and family know it was his affair. Acquaintance I simply say he left us back in march because he had another life he was living and didn't want "this" anymore. No one asks more. I too get worried because my kids are growing up in this town. But I did nothing wrong. Yet they don't need to k ow all details. If they find out, not a biggie thought.

Was just at kindergarten play date at their school. A few friends I haven't seen in a while I told them. Not details, but below he chose another life. It went over fine.

h0peless posted 8/11/2014 23:27 PM

I didn't have anything to hide so I just told everyone what happened.

Pass posted 8/11/2014 23:52 PM

Last week, I ran into a co-worker from ten years ago. We were talking back and forth about kids, jobs, stuff, when she said, "Oh, and how's The Princess?"

"She's a lying, cheating, slut."

Never sure how that's going to turn out. Sometimes people immediately express concern or rage. Other times, a hush falls over the crowd.

This time, it was rage. We had a nice little rant together!

IrishLass518 posted 8/12/2014 00:50 AM

I recently replied to an inquisitor regarding my marital status: "I had a great marriage until he came down with an incurable case of infidelity." She looked at me and said "Yeah, I had a husband with that disease too" We both laughed.

BtraydWife posted 8/12/2014 02:10 AM

^
|
|----that was funny

PurpleRose posted 8/12/2014 08:31 AM

I have also used "I didn't like his girlfriend" when asked.. It either shuts them up right quick, or they burst out laughing and I can too. :)

sparkysable posted 8/12/2014 09:01 AM

I told everyone, because he was starting the "our marriage was really bad for a long time" bullshit. I was not going to let him paint his little web of lies. I told the world and I don't regret it for a minute.

Betrayeddaddio posted 8/12/2014 09:01 AM

my daughter lives in community don't want to throw mud on her mom

I have 3 young daughters and they are the reason I haven't told anyone about the cheating ex, I just leave it at "It just wasn't working out". I don't want my girls finding out and thinking that is an acceptable thing to do because their mother did it....
Now I have told other people with whom it would have less chance of getting back to my girls, and if I ever find out that the STBXWW is fooling around with another married man, all bets are off.
I would tell every person she knows, especially her married female friends (as a warning and service to them that stxww doesn't consider married men off limits for dating).
Just my 2 cents

brokeninfl posted 8/12/2014 10:32 AM

I had a great marriage until he came down with an incurable case of infidelity

I love this!

Honestly, in the acquaintance circle, I don't say anything (because usually people don't ask) but, if someone does ask, I tell the truth - he was unfaithful, I divorced him. End of story. Most people don't want the gory details.

I will say, and I don't know if guys are like this too, but one mom asked at my boys preschool early on (when we were separated, headed to D and I was still very very angry) and I told her the whole story -- all the gory details. That got around so fast it made my head spin. I didn't really care, but I was *shocked* at the speed that news like that spread.

bravegirl19 posted 8/12/2014 11:51 AM

Great post, WhereIsHome! I have the SAME question...

I'm going to use the "I didn't like his girlfriend" response, because it makes me laugh and is true! Thank you lovehonorcherish!

LoveHerStill posted 8/12/2014 12:59 PM

I have used a quote from Princess Diana,
"There were three people in our marriage, it was a little too crowded for me!"

I have also just bluntly said that she betrayed and abandoned me. I get mixed reactions. It is never easy but I find the cold hard truth to be the best response.

As some other member often posts, this shit aint easy!