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Obviously the inner circle knows the truth. As betrayed curious to know what people tell not as close family, coworkers, neighbors, and people they know in community. I would assume you just have to say I'm getting divorced and most people will like oh bummer. If some pry do you say spouse had affair? I hate to take the blame as in irreconcilable difference but also my daughter lives in community don't want to throw mud on her mom. I am sure will be old news really quick not like we are Hollywood tabloid material but still when it's your world you think it's a big deal.

Any tips from experience.

In my case our close family and friends have watched my life unravel and they all know the truth. Should someone outside the circle ask me what happened I always say "I didn't like his girlfriend". That answer provides the truth and usually stuns whoever is asking into silence

Omg LoveHonorCherish!!! I am so stealing that answer!!!! Lol

Lol at didn't like his girlfriend.

My friends and family know it was his affair. Acquaintance I simply say he left us back in march because he had another life he was living and didn't want "this" anymore. No one asks more. I too get worried because my kids are growing up in this town. But I did nothing wrong. Yet they don't need to k ow all details. If they find out, not a biggie thought.

Was just at kindergarten play date at their school. A few friends I haven't seen in a while I told them. Not details, but below he chose another life. It went over fine.

I didn't have anything to hide so I just told everyone what happened.

Last week, I ran into a co-worker from ten years ago. We were talking back and forth about kids, jobs, stuff, when she said, "Oh, and how's The Princess?"

"She's a lying, cheating, slut."

Never sure how that's going to turn out. Sometimes people immediately express concern or rage. Other times, a hush falls over the crowd.

This time, it was rage. We had a nice little rant together!

I recently replied to an inquisitor regarding my marital status: "I had a great marriage until he came down with an incurable case of infidelity." She looked at me and said "Yeah, I had a husband with that disease too" We both laughed.

^
|
|----that was funny

I have also used "I didn't like his girlfriend" when asked.. It either shuts them up right quick, or they burst out laughing and I can too. :)

I told everyone, because he was starting the "our marriage was really bad for a long time" bullshit. I was not going to let him paint his little web of lies. I told the world and I don't regret it for a minute.

my daughter lives in community don't want to throw mud on her mom

I have 3 young daughters and they are the reason I haven't told anyone about the cheating ex, I just leave it at "It just wasn't working out". I don't want my girls finding out and thinking that is an acceptable thing to do because their mother did it....
Now I have told other people with whom it would have less chance of getting back to my girls, and if I ever find out that the STBXWW is fooling around with another married man, all bets are off.
I would tell every person she knows, especially her married female friends (as a warning and service to them that stxww doesn't consider married men off limits for dating).
Just my 2 cents

I had a great marriage until he came down with an incurable case of infidelity

I love this!

Honestly, in the acquaintance circle, I don't say anything (because usually people don't ask) but, if someone does ask, I tell the truth - he was unfaithful, I divorced him. End of story. Most people don't want the gory details.

I will say, and I don't know if guys are like this too, but one mom asked at my boys preschool early on (when we were separated, headed to D and I was still very very angry) and I told her the whole story -- all the gory details. That got around so fast it made my head spin. I didn't really care, but I was *shocked* at the speed that news like that spread.

Great post, WhereIsHome! I have the SAME question...

I'm going to use the "I didn't like his girlfriend" response, because it makes me laugh and is true! Thank you lovehonorcherish!

I have used a quote from Princess Diana,
"There were three people in our marriage, it was a little too crowded for me!"

I have also just bluntly said that she betrayed and abandoned me. I get mixed reactions. It is never easy but I find the cold hard truth to be the best response.

As some other member often posts, this shit aint easy!