August 11th, we have a break through. WS wants to R and get back into IC, MC. I am astonished. I have been left hanging all this time since D day. I am happy about this, well cautiously optimistic is a better term. We shall see where this goes. I know that I will not go thru another A not with him, not with anyone. The rules are the rules and they are my rules. I will not drop my standards, my way of life. I will keep this promise to myself. You will not see me on here announcing D day #5, #6, #7. I will write this in blood if I need to. We have a long road ahead but at least I think we are now on the road.
Consistent actions over weeks and months show remorse. Remorse shouldn't be confused with compliance.
Just going to counseling doesn't help. He will only get out of it what he puts into it. My wh coasted along meaninglessly in ic for almost 3 years. During that time he was not remorseful but he pointed out several times that he was doing what I asked.
Yes, this is great news that he has agreed to go to counseling.
He should attend ic weekly for several months before you start mc. Monthly ic sessions are too far apart for someone needing as much help as he needs. (Really any cheater)
But don't declare remorse just yet. He has a long way to go before that's proven. I hope he means it.
[This message edited by BtraydWife at 11:01 PM, August 11th (Monday)]
Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson
Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.
I'm happy to also hear you aren't going in blindly and are being cautiously optimistic. I struggle with even knowing what my standards are at this point, but its amazing to see you so strong and unwavering.
We have a long road ahead but at least I think we are now on the road.
I hope to feel this too one day. Again, so happy that you are on a road.
I don't know where this will go but I am giving it a shot, he has a second chance. There will be no third chance. Life is too short and I'm too old for 3rd, fourth tries to get this right. He is listening now and answering my questions. He said he has been a "selfish pig" and yes he has. He is finally looking within and this has been so much needed over his lifetime.