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Newest Member: meepsy (46028)

User Topic: Advice needed for friend again!!!
Unagie
♀ 37091
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her ex is escalating. He just threw his dog covered in excrement at her after calling her and saying he'd cut the dog's throat and laugh while he watched it bleed. Then he drove to her home and threw the dog out the car window trying to run it over. Please this woman needs help. She is cleared to leave in 4 months to another state but he is escalating. He was an abusive husband and has hurt her before. The police are saying they wont file a report and just let him calm down. I have told her to record the convos and email them to me just in case. I am terrified for her and her babies.

ETA: how are the cops not able to do anything!?

[This message edited by Unagie at 10:27 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss


Posts: 2811 | Registered: Oct 2012
betrayedfriend
♀ 19785
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She needs to take her kids and disappear to a domestic violence shelter NOW.


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 888 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
Unagie
♀ 37091
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am begging her to go to do something. She keeps putting in protests about custody and not wanting to rock the boat when she is so close to leaving. I think her leaving is what is making him escalate.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss


Posts: 2811 | Registered: Oct 2012
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes the first round of cops that someone encounters are not always the best. She might have, unfortunately, met first with a lazy one, who didn't feel like doing the work involved. We've all got those lazy co-workers in every profession. I think she needs to call back and speak to a supervisor.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3564 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
ChangeMaker
♂ 43899
Member # 43899
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She must take the Officer's name and badge number and dial 911 again.


"Everything works if you let it." - Travis W. Redfish

DDay - June 7, 2014
Me - 43
WW - 41
DD - 6 and 3
Pulling the Plug


Posts: 438 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Ontario
IrishGirlVA
♀ 39694
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This man needs to be covered in shit, thrown out a window and run over!

Your friend, her kids and the dog all need to find a safe place. Like, tomorrow.

Tell her to go down to the police department and tell whoever is on duty that the initial police officer refused to take a report but she is demanding a record of this incident. And I hope this does not deter her from calling the police again when she is in need because there WILL be one there that will help.


Me, the "B": 42yo
Him, the "W": 38yo
DDay: June 2013
Status: Over

Posts: 370 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
Unagie
♀ 37091
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am trying to convince her as is our other friend to call a shelter or the cops again and get this documented!! She keeps saying its a small town and that's just how it is there short of her bleeding they wont do anything against him. I think she is scared that if she stirs the pot now he will prevent her from leaving the state by trying to reopen custody. I am terrified for her I have this horrible feeling in my gut that he is going to hurt her if she doesn't go back to the police.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss


Posts: 2811 | Registered: Oct 2012
IrishGirlVA
♀ 39694
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does she have anyone that can stay with her? Another family member? A friend? At least until she can get out of dodge?

I'm not saying it is unlikely but it is more unlikely he will try and pull anything with someone else around. People like this guy prefer to reign terror down on others with no audience.

Sadly, I understand her trepidation when it comes to stirring the pot but many people, who are no longer here to talk about it, felt that way too.

I am scared for your friend as well.


Me, the "B": 42yo
Him, the "W": 38yo
DDay: June 2013
Status: Over

Posts: 370 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
Unagie
♀ 37091
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She has her mom and her grandparents. She has no friends other then me and our other mutual friend and we are all in different states. Trying to convince her to maybe stay with her mom or make her schedule unpredictable.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss


Posts: 2811 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 9

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