Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: sccssx

New Beginnings :
Dates facing issues from the other side

This Topic is Archived
default

 timestandsstill (original poster member #29921) posted at 12:02 AM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

Just wondering if anyone else dealt with this before.

I've seen men - including my SO - (although it could be women too) who are bitter about paying so much child support and assume that their ex is partying with the support they get. Now we depend on it at the moment; without it, DS and I wouldn't be able to pay rent or buy his clothes, but I don't start an argument about it.

Custody also is an issue. I have primary custody. Most men I've talked to have less time with their kids than the mother. When I was reading OLD ads, one man refused to date any woman who did not share 50-50 custody of the kids with her ex. Fair or too extreme? At least his feelings were out there from the beginning.

Do you deal with these differences and how? Or do they create too much conflict?

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

posts: 175   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2010   ·   location: PA
id 6907498
default

Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 12:47 AM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

Haven't dated a parent, and have no kids myself, but I would have zero interest in a man who broadcasts the giant chip on his shoulder and projects his perception of his situation on everyone he dates.

I'm sure there are a lot of unfair arrangements out there, but some parents don’t deserve custody and every child deserves support.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

posts: 3640   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2011   ·   location: The Valley of the Sun
id 6907542
default

yestopants ( member #41631) posted at 3:10 AM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

In my experience I've found that because I have 100% custody people make a lot of assumptions. They feel bad for me or think my XH is an a@#hole. The reality is he can't handle being a dad and is not really stable (probably why he cheated). Which also means child support fluctuates. It's my problem and I deal with it. I don't feel bad for myself and I'm not going to walk around angry. I have found that people think I need saving and get off on that. I haven't dated much and am taking things slow. I personally wouldn't pass judgement so quickly.

There are people that do abuse Child Support and it's those stories that ruin it for others who don't.

Me: 37
2 amazing kids DS, DD

posts: 289   ·   registered: Dec. 12th, 2013
id 6907690
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy