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Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

User Topic: Dates facing issues from the other side
timestandsstill
♀ 29921
Member # 29921
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wondering if anyone else dealt with this before.

I've seen men - including my SO - (although it could be women too) who are bitter about paying so much child support and assume that their ex is partying with the support they get. Now we depend on it at the moment; without it, DS and I wouldn't be able to pay rent or buy his clothes, but I don't start an argument about it.

Custody also is an issue. I have primary custody. Most men I've talked to have less time with their kids than the mother. When I was reading OLD ads, one man refused to date any woman who did not share 50-50 custody of the kids with her ex. Fair or too extreme? At least his feelings were out there from the beginning.

Do you deal with these differences and how? Or do they create too much conflict?



“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 160 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: PA
Crescita
♀ 32616
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Haven't dated a parent, and have no kids myself, but I would have zero interest in a man who broadcasts the giant chip on his shoulder and projects his perception of his situation on everyone he dates.

I'm sure there are a lot of unfair arrangements out there, but some parents don’t deserve custody and every child deserves support.


“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3578 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
yestopants
♀ 41631
Member # 41631
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my experience I've found that because I have 100% custody people make a lot of assumptions. They feel bad for me or think my XH is an a@#hole. The reality is he can't handle being a dad and is not really stable (probably why he cheated). Which also means child support fluctuates. It's my problem and I deal with it. I don't feel bad for myself and I'm not going to walk around angry. I have found that people think I need saving and get off on that. I haven't dated much and am taking things slow. I personally wouldn't pass judgement so quickly.
There are people that do abuse Child Support and it's those stories that ruin it for others who don't.


Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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