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Dates facing issues from the other side

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timestandsstill posted 8/12/2014 18:02 PM

Just wondering if anyone else dealt with this before.

I've seen men - including my SO - (although it could be women too) who are bitter about paying so much child support and assume that their ex is partying with the support they get. Now we depend on it at the moment; without it, DS and I wouldn't be able to pay rent or buy his clothes, but I don't start an argument about it.

Custody also is an issue. I have primary custody. Most men I've talked to have less time with their kids than the mother. When I was reading OLD ads, one man refused to date any woman who did not share 50-50 custody of the kids with her ex. Fair or too extreme? At least his feelings were out there from the beginning.

Do you deal with these differences and how? Or do they create too much conflict?

Crescita posted 8/12/2014 18:47 PM

Haven't dated a parent, and have no kids myself, but I would have zero interest in a man who broadcasts the giant chip on his shoulder and projects his perception of his situation on everyone he dates.

I'm sure there are a lot of unfair arrangements out there, but some parents donít deserve custody and every child deserves support.

yestopants posted 8/12/2014 21:10 PM

In my experience I've found that because I have 100% custody people make a lot of assumptions. They feel bad for me or think my XH is an a@#hole. The reality is he can't handle being a dad and is not really stable (probably why he cheated). Which also means child support fluctuates. It's my problem and I deal with it. I don't feel bad for myself and I'm not going to walk around angry. I have found that people think I need saving and get off on that. I haven't dated much and am taking things slow. I personally wouldn't pass judgement so quickly.
There are people that do abuse Child Support and it's those stories that ruin it for others who don't.

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