How long ago was DD? How happy are you? How secure do you feel?
How long ago was DD?
How happy are you?
How secure do you feel?
I also want to add that I really like these questions. I'm going to copy and past them so I can keep a running word document open. I plan to answer these once a month to track my progress. So thanks for sharing them!!
almost 14 months
Happiness - 7 (on average. This weekend I hit a 10, but last night when I was sick, I was a 1). I have read that most people are a fairly consistent level of happy over their lifetime, and this is pretty representative of my normal state. So, I think that means the "crisis" part of the A is over, maybe.
secure - 7
How happy are you? 1 to 2. Mostly I am angry, with intermittent bouts of hysteria. Some days I am hopeful and some days I think I just want to throw in the towel.
How secure do you feel? Probably a 2. I think my WH does sincerely feel bad, but he really doesn't get it yet. At all.
5 months
6
With my relationship 3 With my self 10
Married 4 years. Dating 8. Living together 7.
If a man took his time on earth to prove be for he died what on man's life could be worth I wonder what would happen to the world
- Harry Chapin
How happy are you? 8 - I think there is always room for more happiness
How secure do you feel? 9 - I will never be 100% secure/trusting.
How happy are you? 5.
How secure do you feel? 7
Happiness- 4. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that there were two ddays.
Security- 8-9. He wants to be a good person. I see that.
me (WW/BS): 48 him: (BS/WH)52 4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take ca
Not feeling it today maybe tomorrow would be a higher score
How happy am I? 7 on average. I still have some bad days, but I also have some great days.
How secure do I feel? 7. This has nothing to do with his behavior. He is doing everything right. I just look at everything differently now. Something that was once just normal, I scrutinize for signs of wayward behavior.
Both my happiness and security are climbing. Much more rapidly now than they were even 6 months ago.
How happy are you? 8
How secure do you feel? 9 because I will never achieve 10 after such a devastating betrayal
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Coming up on 3 yrs. WOW, still feels like yesterday
Happy:
With what happened this month & his response - very happy!!!
Secure:
Again his behavior for her fishing expedition this month & my still tracking phone & email - doing good. Percentage wise, firm 99, because nothing is ever 100.
I am lucky in that there are no females at his work, I have 110 percent access to phone & email.
His only mistress now is hockey. 3 times a week & I go to every game
2 years and 5 months
4, there are moments when I am happier, but average a 4. RL is posing other challenges right now besides trying to heal from this. Prior to D-Day it was a 7 or so on average.
2, I feel secure in me taking care of myself more, this is how secure I feel about my WH being there for me when I need him. I don't know if I will get this back. Prior to D-day it was a 10.
Happy: Some days 8, on average 6
Secure: Probably a 4. I just don't have the blind 10 trust that I used to have. I hope to get some of that back some day. It's not his behavior that is causing me to feel this way. It is just how I am now at this point.
Because if I were to answer those questions- it would skew the results.
Happiness is pretty consistent at 8 and 9 most of the time and there are times when it's a 10.
I feel 99% secure most of the time...I don't count on H for my security anymore. I count on me and I do a pretty good job of taking care of myself now, much better than I used to. That's what H's affair taught me...not to put myself last.
8 years
[This message edited by Bobbi_sue at 4:47 AM, August 13th (Wednesday)]
I know that seems a bit high, considering things are so fresh. I'm a quick healer. Plus, I was really happy before DDay, around 9.5-9.7. There are times, where for a brief period, I'll drop to a 5 or 6, but W is doing all the right things, showing real remorse and is working really hard on herself.
Happiness: 7/10. Pretty happy, but still have occasional bad days.
Security: 8/10. My head tells me he won't stray again, but when I trigger, I get jittery. Checking always confirms that he is completely NC, though.
D-Day: August 14, 2012 9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
