How long ago was DD? How happy are you? How secure do you feel?
How long ago was DD?
How happy are you?
How secure do you feel?
I also want to add that I really like these questions. I'm going to copy and past them so I can keep a running word document open. I plan to answer these once a month to track my progress. So thanks for sharing them!!
almost 14 months
Happiness - 7 (on average. This weekend I hit a 10, but last night when I was sick, I was a 1). I have read that most people are a fairly consistent level of happy over their lifetime, and this is pretty representative of my normal state. So, I think that means the "crisis" part of the A is over, maybe.
secure - 7
How happy are you? 1 to 2. Mostly I am angry, with intermittent bouts of hysteria. Some days I am hopeful and some days I think I just want to throw in the towel.
How secure do you feel? Probably a 2. I think my WH does sincerely feel bad, but he really doesn't get it yet. At all.
5 months
6
With my relationship 3 With my self 10
Married 4 years. Dating 8. Living together 7.
If a man took his time on earth to prove be for he died what on man's life could be worth I wonder what would happen to the world
- Harry Chapin
How happy are you? 8 - I think there is always room for more happiness
How secure do you feel? 9 - I will never be 100% secure/trusting.
How happy are you? 5.
How secure do you feel? 7
Happiness- 4. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that there were two ddays.
Security- 8-9. He wants to be a good person. I see that.
me (WW/BS): 48 him: (BS/WH)52 4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”
Not feeling it today maybe tomorrow would be a higher score
How happy am I? 7 on average. I still have some bad days, but I also have some great days.
How secure do I feel? 7. This has nothing to do with his behavior. He is doing everything right. I just look at everything differently now. Something that was once just normal, I scrutinize for signs of wayward behavior.
Both my happiness and security are climbing. Much more rapidly now than they were even 6 months ago.
How happy are you? 8
How secure do you feel? 9 because I will never achieve 10 after such a devastating betrayal
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Coming up on 3 yrs. WOW, still feels like yesterday
Happy:
With what happened this month & his response - very happy!!!
Secure:
Again his behavior for her fishing expedition this month & my still tracking phone & email - doing good. Percentage wise, firm 99, because nothing is ever 100.
I am lucky in that there are no females at his work, I have 110 percent access to phone & email.
His only mistress now is hockey. 3 times a week & I go to every game
2 years and 5 months
4, there are moments when I am happier, but average a 4. RL is posing other challenges right now besides trying to heal from this. Prior to D-Day it was a 7 or so on average.
2, I feel secure in me taking care of myself more, this is how secure I feel about my WH being there for me when I need him. I don't know if I will get this back. Prior to D-day it was a 10.
Happy: Some days 8, on average 6
Secure: Probably a 4. I just don't have the blind 10 trust that I used to have. I hope to get some of that back some day. It's not his behavior that is causing me to feel this way. It is just how I am now at this point.
Because if I were to answer those questions- it would skew the results.
Happiness is pretty consistent at 8 and 9 most of the time and there are times when it's a 10.
I feel 99% secure most of the time...I don't count on H for my security anymore. I count on me and I do a pretty good job of taking care of myself now, much better than I used to. That's what H's affair taught me...not to put myself last.
8 years
[This message edited by Bobbi_sue at 4:47 AM, August 13th (Wednesday)]
I know that seems a bit high, considering things are so fresh. I'm a quick healer. Plus, I was really happy before DDay, around 9.5-9.7. There are times, where for a brief period, I'll drop to a 5 or 6, but W is doing all the right things, showing real remorse and is working really hard on herself.
Happiness: 7/10. Pretty happy, but still have occasional bad days.
Security: 8/10. My head tells me he won't stray again, but when I trigger, I get jittery. Checking always confirms that he is completely NC, though.
D-Day: August 14, 2012 9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
