I haven't been on here in a bit, because I think I've been dreading this week. One year ago today my wife sent an email finally admitting in full to her EA. Last year the OM sent an email at 3 in the morning to her asking her to call him. While I was in a meeting later that morning my wife emailed me to let me know about this communication. Then we had lunch before my wife and kids left for a short trip. I told her then that if there was anything else I needed to know, she needed to tell me. That night she sent an email finally admitting that she had told the OM (who was 25 years old) that she loved him and had never felt that way about another man before. She also came clean about some other things but that was the most painful.
Today I will be in the exact same room where I learned of the contact with OM. And today my wife and kids are out of town on the exact same trip as last year. So, tonight I'll be home alone just as I was last year when I got the email from my wife that has changed everything. It is just too hard for me not to think about last year. I probably would have anyway but the fact that I am replicating every detail is certainly not helping.
I would love to get an email from my wife at some point today that acknowledges how tough this is, etc. But I don't think I will and that worries me for the long term. I just want more connection and more thought from her and I'm not sure she's capable.
Today sucks. Sorry for the downer rant.