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HeBrokeVows posted 8/13/2014 21:04 PM

He's giving 30 days notice Friday ( after me probing he finally told me). I have no idea if its better move or not or if he's making more money, same or less. My lawyer said don't bank now on a substantial amount for maintenance and I may be looking at less years of maintenance now unless the asshole feels kind. Yea right. He may left a salary job and working now per client and will be making in the future much more than now. I want to put the divorce in inactive status if that's the case until he makes more and builds up his Clients. I wonder if that's possible. Anyone else have this happen?

Gemini71 posted 8/14/2014 00:51 AM

Yep. Dipshit is going through an 'involuntary job change' since he was fired in June.

There is no need to put the Divorce on 'hold' or 'inactive status'. That will happen all on it's own. We gave Dipshit a MSA to respond to almost four months ago, BEFORE he lost his job. We haven't heard anything except his lawyer saying they need more time. I'm really getting frustrated.

Also, check with your lawyer about the laws in your state. A lot of places look at the earnings for the past three years when determining income. Some others list CS and SS as percentages of income, so it adjusts as jobs change. I would definitely go for the percentage version since his income is expected to rise.

I'm not sure how you are handling temporary support while you are separated, but it seems to me that you'll be effected by his lower income whether or not the D is progressing. Good luck.

HeBrokeVows posted 8/14/2014 01:11 AM

Thanks for the info. So far, we are living still under the joint account. He's paying all the bills and my spending money is from the joint still. So there's been no change. I'm on pins and needles waiting. He has a motion to compel out there because he missed all deadlines for financials, etc but finally turned it on. Based on his current job however. So I guess I just sit back, wait, and pray the rug isn't pulled from under me. I will get more info from my lawyer.
Thanks again

Mochagurl posted 8/14/2014 17:16 PM

Oh my goodness, HBV! That is not good. Since you are in the drivers seat, you can probably put it on hold or just keep delaying your court dates until you get more details from him. I am so sorry you are going through this. As you know, I am too. And I am very angry because he still control the purse strings even though my WH has no idea.

It really seems like a not very smart career mov to do something like this though.

HeBrokeVows posted 8/14/2014 20:43 PM

Mocha, I'm learning it's out of my control which sucks. The only thing I have control over is the fact I'm in the drivers seat on every other area of my life. For now, he's in control of my immediate financial well being. I do look at it as this... if he chooses to do this to me, he's actually doing it to his children and I will thank him for cheating on me some day. I will thank him for letting me and the children live healthy without him.

Mochagurl posted 8/14/2014 22:34 PM

It's so tough though, because you can't move forward. You can't heal and put it behind you. It's like being in limbo land. It messes with my self esteem.

You are a smart level headed younger woman. It's good that you are able to find some positive in it.

The fact that I never really had any adult life on my own is what's making life scary right now.

HeBrokeVows posted 8/14/2014 23:23 PM

You will do it too mocha! You have a lot of living left in you. I was at a support group the other night and most people had grown kids and they were truly finding happiness. Socializing, dancing, taking new classes, traveling, etc. There's so much out there you will do with NO ONE to tie you down anymore. I have 13+ years still of being responsible to my kids!!!