(I don't mind hearing from fellow Waywards, too.)
"Power, Lincoln, real power comes not from hate, but from truth."
Sometimes I just like being held and I dont expect him to talk. Just him listening is enough.
The people you do your life with shape the life you live
WifeHad5, separating how my BH feels from how I feel about how I make him feel is something I'm working on in IC. It is challenging for me to hear his pain without immediately falling into apologizes and feeling like shit because I caused the hurt
this will help you. Not only with your BS, but with your life as a whole.
ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)
I do not PM with Women
I have learned my first thought process is wrong, if I'm self pitying and turning how he feels and make it about me, then I need to think and find what is right. I hope this helps.
I Am Strong! I Am Beautiful! I Am Smart! I Am Worthy!
When it works it is usually "I am sorry I caused you pain like this. Is there anything I can do to help" ? She almost always touches me when she says this.
It is challenging for me to hear his pain without immediately falling into apologizes and feeling like shit because I caused the hurt.
Showing this is likely to cause more insecurity in a BS that less. Because they can sense one of the big issues. If you need your BS to always feel great about you and to praise you, then what happens when they can't? Does this mean you'll turn to someone else again to boost your own image because you are running yourself so far into the gutter?
You need to reach a place where you can listen, accept, acknowledge you understand the hurt and that you are there. There to listen. There to be a target when your BS needs to lash out. There to be a shoulder when they need one to cry on. And there for as long as it takes for your BS to work through the hurt and the pain. Our MC said early on it would take as long as it takes. There's no time line on hurt. Everyone will process it differently. We as a WS committed to R need to be on board to focus on our BS without showing signs we might cave for as long as it takes.