NC really is the key. To any member struggling with NC, I will say it was THE single key thing that allowed healing to begin for me.
I played the game far too long thinking that XWW would see my care and love and return. I felt obligated to remain in contact because that's what a loving husband does, right?
It brought massive pain, every single time. I was subjecting myself to unneccessary pain. Finally, I listened to my IC and everyone else and began NC. I failed many times and XWW would not respect it, but finally it worked.
I cannot express how much my life and health improved after that. NC really is fundamental to the whole process!
Cantaccept, I know the feeling well, the pain resurfacing and the confusion setting back in. I am so sorry. My suggestion is to give him two weeks to get the wood and everything else off your property then just use the wood and get rid of everything else. He has had plenty of time and no judge is going to back him for leaving it for so long or award him any monetary value for it.
I wish I could meet him by the woodpile and straighten him out on a few things.
Peace to you.
XWW Married OM 5/23/2011
There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.