18 months out: sometimes it is so hard to decide to discuss a trigger. I let it go for a while, but not so long that it will fester and become bigger than it already is. If I do decided I need to discuss it and work through it a bit I face two possible outcomes: I feel a bit bitter or I feel a bit worse.
If I get my wonderful remorseful spouse on that day it is nice, but he is not always in the place to give empathy or sympathy....this is not necessarily a "bad" thing. Sometimes he is in the place to boost me up, see our bright future together, how far we have come and so forth. This is all good, but I still sometimes feel like I want the empathy. HOWEVER, that being said when I get the empathy, that can re-trigger all those sad feelings in me because WHY am I getting all this wonderful empathy?...because he had affairs.
Also, if I do decide to discuss the trigger, I talk about why and how I feel and that again traumatizes me anew and makes me feel bad again.
So damned if I do and damned if I don't. Sometimes it helps, but often I am left feeling like a wet dishrag for a few days...sometimes it helps though. It is hard to know if talking bout the trigger will make me feel better...or worse
Am I the only one?