SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

I was talking to a good lifelong friend of mine recently. I don't live at home anymore, so she brought me up on old friends and such.

I found myself really just like disappointed in two of my old friends.

First one; she (P) was married and she & her then H were close to another couple. They all hung out together and were such great friends. Kids were close; weeknd cook-outs and so on. Her H (M) and the wife (C) in the other couple worked at same company; they started to carpool. At some point, M & C started sleeping together. P knew something was 'off' with her marriage and would confide in C. Eventually it came out and both couples D. It was ugly as it wasn't just a marriage that broke up - it was two that did; and kids were affected and extended friends and so on. Fast Forward a couple of years; the old BW (P) is now 'dating' this married guy. The story is his wife is a slob and overweight and they're only together for the kids, blah blah.

Friend 2 (S); she liked the brother (J) of a friend we all had. She won J over and they married. They had two kids. They also started a family business, so shit was stressful. They not only lived together, but they also worked together to build this business in a tough industry. Money is tight, two kids and so on. They begin to have trouble and there's talk of D. They do D. I just learned this week that my GF (S) was sleeping with an employee of theirs while married still. She's now prego by the "BF" (who more or less rolled out) and her recent XH is like shocked and stuff.

The first friend went through her infidelity related divorce literally right when I did and so we bonded a lot because of that. Now she's 'dating' this married guy - but wait; it's okay, because it's different. His wife sucks and stuff.

Other friend only recently, after her D, told everyone she cheated. But apparently that was okay too because her H (J) deserved it since he was too focused on work and ignored her & kids.

I don't know, I'm so not perfect by ANY means, but I think this news just disappoint me knowing what we 'all' went through together, you know? We all talked on phone, went through shit together. Sigh. Just thinking out loud I guess.

I had a friend that did the same thing. We were both cheated on. We both went through our divorces together. Then she started to change. Was dating multiple guys, actually a lot of guys. She basically turned into a slut. Several of the guys had girlfriends. She didn't care! I couldn't believe it. I eventually ended the friendship.

With the first girl I talked about - I remember my friend telling me that she was dating a married guy. I said - AYFKM? After what she went through?

Then I realized; no one really cares that anyone cheats unless it's on them.

My best friend of 30+ years (E) was upset when the woman they invited into their marriage for a threesome ended up having an affair with my friend's husband. It sucked for her big time because she blamed herself as the instigator of the threesome. I felt that if you play with fire, you're gonna get burned, but I put my personal judgements aside and supported my friend.

Fast forward one year and my friend's marriage is now "open" and she hooks up with strangers from the internet. I should have cut off contact then. Turns out she's also hooking up with MY husband. While Dipshit STBX was already looking for oral sex from online strangers, he didn't go "all the way" until her. We would have had D-Day and problems anyway because he's a Dipshit, but is was the PA with my xBFF that killed any chance of R.

I am a lot pickier about who I let into my life these days, and I trust almost no one. While people are free to live their lives as they choose, we are free to not associate with them. I didn't even know I was playing with fire, but I still got burned. You don't owe your old friends anything.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 12:47 PM, August 15th (Friday)]