Stick around, read a lot, get him to read, and consider getting into counseling- him, you, together. It can be done.
I am a little less along than you are, but I sometimes struggle with the same feelings. I am so emotional lately (i have always been a sensitive person but crying almost daily is NOT fun). My WH has been SOOO remorseful at least from what I can tell. Seems to be doing all the right things. Makes you kind of wonder where this man was before, and that's part of my struggle, but I know he was suffering internally and keeping a lot about his past from me to "protect himself"...a lot of good that did.
Anyway, I try to stay cautiously optemistic. I know I want this M to work, and D is not even on my mind. It's just a constant struggle. Communicate your feelings to your WH. Let him know how much you appreciate everything he has been doing right to help you heal, and that you hope he continues to care for you this way for a long time. Remind him healing takes a long time, and you're in it for the long run, you just want to be sure he is also. My WH has committed to never going back to his old ways again, and that gives me some comfort. Sorry you have found yourself in the club no one ever wants to join.
"Reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice." - Nelson Mandela
I'm only one data point on this, but at least to me, what you're describing seems normal, and you will probably feel better as time goes on.
I say 'probably', because IMO feeling better takes work and courage. I urge you to welcome the grief, anger, and fear that comes with being betrayed. Those feelings are in your body, and IMO you either store them or let them go - and letting the feelings course through your body is the best way to let them go that I've come across. That may not be the only way to resolve feelings, but it's the only way I know.
If you resolve the feelings of being betrayed, you will survive and set yourself up to thrive, and life can be good again - maybe not with your current WS, but it can be good.
Then I become more angry. I had no idea what I would do as far as R. I also felt waves of hurt, pain in my heart like I could never explain.
Time has gone on and been helpful. I still cry now and then, but nt every day. Maybe once every few weeks. I get stronger I am learning about myself and preparing for anything that gets thrown my way again.
I do nt know if this M will last. I have no idea. Some days, I want to pack it in, although he's doing the "right things". How could we ever know what we want when we were betrayed so badly?
Hang in there. Read. Relax. Take time for yourself and do the best that you can. That's all te test of us are doing xo
Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.