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Newest Member: Remember (46025)

User Topic: 100 steps back in our marriage. Heartbroken today.
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Helpless  Posted: 2:34 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right now I am just too upset to go into details. At this point I believe I am staying. But HL knows that my mind is not made up. Up and down all night with nightmares. He crossed major boundaries at his job. I am devastated. He is going back to IC. I will be back later.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5229 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Sending you strength and hugs.

(((((tiredgirl)))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 8081 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Tired girl)) tears for you. I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.
Hugs


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5750 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Allornothing
♀ 42354
Member # 42354
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TG)))


Me- BS 43
Him- FWH 43
Married 19 years, Together 26
Kids- 23,21,15,14
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant

Posts: 256 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohhhh honey no. I'm just so sorry.

We're here for you. (((tg)))


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16


Posts: 18681 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TG)))

Posts: 36769 | Registered: Mar 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, tg, nothing but hugs. ((((((((tg))))))))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 10083 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) I'm so very sorry.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5221 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tg)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10754 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tg)))

I'm sorry, that's really awful!! I have to say I'm a bit stunned by this, so I can't imagine how you must feel!


Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
Teach8
♀ 36521
Member # 36521
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TG))). I am so sorry. I know just how you feel. After 2 years of R my wh chose to delete texts on his phone. I'm heartbroken too. So so sorry!! You aren't alone.


Me: BW. Him: WH. Dday: 4/26/12. TT until 8/15/12 LTA 7 years. Trying to R

Posts: 509 | Registered: Aug 2012
5454real
♂ 37455
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crap, I am sending you all the strength I can.

(((TG)))


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 21(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3301 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{TiGi}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
BlueinStLou
♀ 44416
Member # 44416
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry. (((TG)))

Strength to you. I wish I had better words of wisdom.


DDay1 3/26/2014
DDay2 4/15/2014
DDay 3 7/15/2014
DDay 4 8/15/2014

Me BS 40
WH 39

3 Kids, 9, 4 and 1


Posts: 199 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: St Louis MO
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hl decided to walk right up to the line that I had established in our M and stick a toe if not a whole foot over that line. I am sick today, I can't stop crying. I thought we were over this. I guess not. I don't consider him to have cheated, but it was as close as I care to get. I shook for two hours after getting up this morning. I just don't know. I want to stay, but I don't know if I have it in me again.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5229 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he come to you with this info? Did he realize what he had done and express remorse/decide on IC himself? I'm so sorry.
The nightmares and and shaking mean you're traumatized and I'm so sad you're living with that again...


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5750 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((tiredgirl))))


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9142 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
NoMorDeceit
♀ 23547
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((TG)))) I'm sorry.

I understand about boundary violations. It sucks.

Hang in there. Maybe this will be the "key" to him getting it and getting those boundaries iron-clad...kwim?

I am glad he is going back to IC.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 607 | Registered: Apr 2009
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry.

Take the time you need to decide. Be good to yourself , your growth hasn't been wasted, the work you have done will help you through this.
(((Hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3872 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
brkn_heartd
♀ 30396
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((TG)) Sending you support. I understand the boundary push....I have been there. I also struggled with my next steps when it happened. Only you can decide how you should handle it. Take your time.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1713 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Topic Posts: 190
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