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User
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Topic: 100 steps back in our marriage. Heartbroken today.
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tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053 |  Posted: 2:34 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 |     |
Right now I am just too upset to go into details. At this point I believe I am staying. But HL knows that my mind is not made up. Up and down all night with nightmares. He crossed major boundaries at his job. I am devastated. He is going back to IC. I will be back later. 
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
Posts: 7294 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Inside my head |
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826 |  Posted: 2:38 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
I'm so sorry to hear this.
Sending you strength and hugs.
(((((tiredgirl)))))
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011 |
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314 | | Posted: 3:59 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((Tired girl)) tears for you. I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.
Hugs
Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest |
Allornothing
♀ 42354
Member # 42354 | | Posted: 4:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((TG)))
Me- BS 44
Him- FWH 44
Married 20 years, Together 27
Kids- 24,23,16,15
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant
Posts: 333 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia |
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349 | | Posted: 4:07 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Ohhhh honey no. I'm just so sorry.
We're here for you. (((tg)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Posts: 29076 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California |
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528 | | Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((TG)))
Posts: 49465 | Registered: Mar 2011 |
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024 | | Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
  Oh, tg, nothing but hugs. ((((((((tg))))))))
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Posts: 12726 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA |
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812 | | Posted: 4:28 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((hugs))) I'm so very sorry.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 9079 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California |
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240 | | Posted: 4:41 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((tg)))
fBH (me) - 70+, fWW, Married 45+, together 45+, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's all I know.
Posts: 15572 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois |
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449 | | Posted: 4:48 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((tg)))
I'm sorry, that's really awful!! I have to say I'm a bit stunned by this, so I can't imagine how you must feel!
Posts: 12215 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
Teach8
♀ 36521
Member # 36521 | | Posted: 4:53 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((TG))). I am so sorry. I know just how you feel. After 2 years of R my wh chose to delete texts on his phone. I'm heartbroken too. So so sorry!! You aren't alone.
Me: BW. Him: WH. Dday: 4/26/12. TT until 8/15/12 LTA 7 years. Trying to R
Posts: 591 | Registered: Aug 2012 |
5454real
♂ 37455
Member # 37455 | | Posted: 5:03 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Crap, I am sending you all the strength I can.
(((TG)))
BH 53, WW 44
DS 25(Mine),SD 24,SS 23(Hers),DS 11 Ours, DGS 5, DGD 2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone
Posts: 4982 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest |
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823 | | Posted: 5:08 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
{{{TiGi}}}
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Posts: 9187 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest |
BlueinStLou
♀ 44416
Member # 44416 | | Posted: 5:57 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
So sorry. (((TG)))
Strength to you. I wish I had better words of wisdom.
DDay1 3/26/2014
DDay2 4/15/2014
DDay 3 7/15/2014
DDay 4 8/15/2014
DDay 5-7 December 2014
DDay 8 - 9/10/15
DDay 9 - 10/15/16
Me BS 42
WH 41
1DD, 2 DS
Posts: 426 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: Midwest |
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053 | | Posted: 6:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Hl decided to walk right up to the line that I had established in our M and stick a toe if not a whole foot over that line. I am sick today, I can't stop crying. I thought we were over this. I guess not. I don't consider him to have cheated, but it was as close as I care to get. I shook for two hours after getting up this morning. I just don't know. I want to stay, but I don't know if I have it in me again.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
Posts: 7294 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Inside my head |
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314 | | Posted: 6:14 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Did he come to you with this info? Did he realize what he had done and express remorse/decide on IC himself? I'm so sorry.
The nightmares and and shaking mean you're traumatized and I'm so sad you're living with that again...
Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest |
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989 | | Posted: 6:15 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((((tiredgirl))))
BS-me, 55; WX-irrelevant
Divorced after an eternity
"So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tenn
Posts: 15185 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest |
NoMorDeceit
♀ 23547
Member # 23547 | | Posted: 7:19 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((((TG)))) I'm sorry.
I understand about boundary violations. It sucks.
Hang in there. Maybe this will be the "key" to him getting it and getting those boundaries iron-clad...kwim?
I am glad he is going back to IC.
FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)
Posts: 977 | Registered: Apr 2009 |
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846 | | Posted: 8:06 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
I am so sorry.
Take the time you need to decide. Be good to yourself , your growth hasn't been wasted, the work you have done will help you through this.
(((Hugs)))
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
Posts: 4011 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts |
brkn_heartd
♀ 30396
Member # 30396 | | Posted: 8:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((TG)) Sending you support. I understand the boundary push....I have been there. I also struggled with my next steps when it happened. Only you can decide how you should handle it. Take your time.
Me-52 BS
Him 59-WS
Married 32 yrs, together 35
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
Posts: 1960 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US |
| Topic Posts: 190 | |
