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User
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Topic: 100 steps back in our marriage. Heartbroken today.
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tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053 |  Posted: 2:34 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 |     |
Right now I am just too upset to go into details. At this point I believe I am staying. But HL knows that my mind is not made up. Up and down all night with nightmares. He crossed major boundaries at his job. I am devastated. He is going back to IC. I will be back later. 
Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
Posts: 5446 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az |
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826 |  Posted: 2:38 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
I'm so sorry to hear this.
Sending you strength and hugs.
(((((tiredgirl)))))
BS(me)42
FWH 46
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 8667 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana |
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314 | | Posted: 3:59 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((Tired girl)) tears for you. I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.
Hugs
his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take ca
Posts: 6433 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest |
Allornothing
♀ 42354
Member # 42354 | | Posted: 4:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((TG)))
Me- BS 43
Him- FWH 43
Married 19 years, Together 26
Kids- 23,22,16,15
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant
Posts: 299 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia |
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349 | | Posted: 4:07 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Ohhhh honey no. I'm just so sorry.
We're here for you. (((tg)))
"I've never met a strong person with an easy past." -Unknown
Posts: 21000 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California |
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528 | | Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((TG)))
Posts: 38308 | Registered: Mar 2011 |
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024 | | Posted: 4:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
  Oh, tg, nothing but hugs. ((((((((tg))))))))
BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
Posts: 10515 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA |
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812 | | Posted: 4:28 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((hugs))) I'm so very sorry.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 5561 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California |
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240 | | Posted: 4:41 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((tg)))
fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 70 (22 in my head), Married 45+, together since 1965, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I'm not an exemplar. I share my own experience because it's all I know.
Posts: 11141 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area |
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449 | | Posted: 4:48 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((tg)))
I'm sorry, that's really awful!! I have to say I'm a bit stunned by this, so I can't imagine how you must feel!
Posts: 11814 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
Teach8
♀ 36521
Member # 36521 | | Posted: 4:53 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
(((TG))). I am so sorry. I know just how you feel. After 2 years of R my wh chose to delete texts on his phone. I'm heartbroken too. So so sorry!! You aren't alone.
Me: BW. Him: WH. Dday: 4/26/12. TT until 8/15/12 LTA 7 years. Trying to R
Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2012 |
5454real
♂ 37455
Member # 37455 | | Posted: 5:03 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Crap, I am sending you all the strength I can.
(((TG)))
BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 21(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone
Posts: 3613 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest |
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823 | | Posted: 5:08 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
{{{TiGi}}}
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Posts: 8438 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest |
BlueinStLou
♀ 44416
Member # 44416 | | Posted: 5:57 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
So sorry. (((TG)))
Strength to you. I wish I had better words of wisdom.
DDay1 3/26/2014
DDay2 4/15/2014
DDay 3 7/15/2014
DDay 4 8/15/2014
DDay 5-7 December 2014
Me BS 40
WH 39
3 Kids, 9, 4 and 1
Posts: 303 | Registered: Aug 2014 | From: St Louis MO |
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053 | | Posted: 6:02 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Hl decided to walk right up to the line that I had established in our M and stick a toe if not a whole foot over that line. I am sick today, I can't stop crying. I thought we were over this. I guess not. I don't consider him to have cheated, but it was as close as I care to get. I shook for two hours after getting up this morning. I just don't know. I want to stay, but I don't know if I have it in me again.
Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
Posts: 5446 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az |
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314 | | Posted: 6:14 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
Did he come to you with this info? Did he realize what he had done and express remorse/decide on IC himself? I'm so sorry.
The nightmares and and shaking mean you're traumatized and I'm so sad you're living with that again...
his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take ca
Posts: 6433 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest |
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989 | | Posted: 6:15 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((((tiredgirl))))
BS-me, 53
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke
Posts: 9504 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest |
NoMorDeceit
♀ 23547
Member # 23547 | | Posted: 7:19 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((((TG)))) I'm sorry.
I understand about boundary violations. It sucks.
Hang in there. Maybe this will be the "key" to him getting it and getting those boundaries iron-clad...kwim?
I am glad he is going back to IC.
FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)
Posts: 703 | Registered: Apr 2009 |
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846 | | Posted: 8:06 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
I am so sorry.
Take the time you need to decide. Be good to yourself , your growth hasn't been wasted, the work you have done will help you through this.
(((Hugs)))
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
Posts: 3910 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts |
brkn_heartd
♀ 30396
Member # 30396 | | Posted: 8:09 PM, August 17th (Sunday), 2014 | |
((TG)) Sending you support. I understand the boundary push....I have been there. I also struggled with my next steps when it happened. Only you can decide how you should handle it. Take your time.
Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
Posts: 1818 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US |
| Topic Posts: 190 | |
