We, unfortunately, still have a lot of interaction, primarily involving DS. I can push it often a few days in between contact, but that is about it. We have to meet up regularly to attend meetings together as well as exchange documents. I don't let him come to my home (I don't want him there, nor does DD17) and I usually just stop by his house. I was there Saturday night. I feel like my conversations are back to when we were M and I was walking on eggshells, always trying to keep the peace. I don't have much of a choice because we have to work together regarding DS, but it truly sucks.
He was living out of state until March, when he moved back. I could breath with him out of the area. Now I am stressed with him back again, on top of the emotional stress of family tragedies. He feels the need to update me on the paternity suit of OW when I couldn't care less. I don't respond. He is a hypochondriac and I get to hear all about his current ailments. I don't respond. I get to hear about all the problems in his life. I don't respond. I get to hear about how DD17 doesn't interact with him or even say "thanks" for things he does for her. I told him with regard to that not to feel special as she is a typical teen and treats everyone that way (that is 75% true, with the remaining 25% simply that she wants nothing to do with him). Overall, he is a real downer at a time when I am trying to pick myself up. Unfortunately, he sprinkles these comments into our legitimate convos. I don't smile, laugh, or encourage him in any way, but he has burned so many bridges he doesn't have anyone else to talk to so he feels I am fair game I guess. It really doesn't bother me, except that it is just depressing hearing all his negativity. But he has always been that way. I enjoyed being away from it when he was living out of state, and now it is back.
I am not adversarial because we have too many unresolved issues regarding DS that we need to work through as parents, and creating strife will only make that much worse (BTDT). It is a matter of picking my battles, and I need to keep the peace with him as he 'could' create me monumental headaches if he wanted to. So far he hasn't, but that is because I am back to walking on eggshells.
So, most days I find myself wishing he would just fall off a cliff and go away, taking the eggshells with him...
Anyone else feel that way about your ex?
"The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it." - Brene Brown
I think every BS who's wondered "I gave WS what they wanted, why are they bothering me?" feels the same way to one extent or another.
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Oh, heck, yeah. Every quarter when I pay the life insurance premium, I hope it's the last time I have to make a payment before collecting.
(And I'm only joking a little. Hell, no, not at all. The sooner he dies, the less damage done to my kids. There's no possibility of rapprochement or peace, so it's best he just falls off that proverbial cliff before he finds a way to demonstrate even more, to them, how little he cares.)
[This message edited by solus sto at 4:11 PM, August 18th (Monday)]
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Although, after he moved out and I asked the kids if they were okay, they responded, "It's not much different. He was hardly ever home anyway."
Not in a "I hate your guts and want you to die a painful death" kind of way (though I have been there in the past too), but more in a "you are an ongoing nuisance in my life that I just don't want to deal with anymore."
I still feel both. I find I don't have QUITE as much anger over the infidelity and emotional abuse - but, dude, it's still there - but I'm really pissed about how she's treating my kids. I say "my" kids because I don't know how anyone could seemingly care so little about their own kids, so they're fucking mine.
Yep, waiting for that cliff.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!