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WS carrying memento of AP?

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realgood2u posted 8/19/2014 03:02 AM

WH and I were in fast food restaurant today waiting for order. WH was digging around in his front pocket for some reason and out fell a flimsy bit of blue material. He calmly picked it up, folded it and returned it to his pocket...assuming I had not noticed.

WH always carries a white cotton hanky...never any other color in 40 years. This item looked very feminine, nearly transparent...rather like a scarf.

Has anyone else had a similar situation? Is WH perhaps carrying an affair memento?

[This message edited by realgood2u at 3:09 AM, August 19th (Tuesday)]

tl502 posted 8/19/2014 06:58 AM

I guess you need to ask him, or look for evidence of a new ap. This sucks that we have to question these things doesn't it?

WaryOptimist posted 8/19/2014 07:36 AM

Ow had given WH a dragonfly pin that he attached to a ballcap. I knew it had come from her, but he never would 'fess up.

Can't tell you how many times I stomped on that ballcap and then calmly put it back on the stairway newel...

Eventually, about six months after the last contact, he left it in a restaurant. I saw it on the post of his chair as we were leaving, and did not say a word.

The other memento she gave him I took care of with a mallet

Sleepingbeauty posted 8/19/2014 07:36 AM

You need to ask him? What does your gut tell you?
Does this thing ever go into the laundry???

sisoon posted 8/19/2014 08:01 AM

Another vote for: You need to ask him.

One of the things I started on d-day was IDing and discarding anything that came from ow. We dumped a whole lot of stuff and sent some back within a couple of days. One of the signs that confirmed my W was committed to R was that over the next many months (18? 24?), my W would occasionally come across something connected to her A, tell me about it, and suggest throwing it out.

If this is a memento, it needs to be dealt with directly.


BtraydWife posted 8/19/2014 10:20 AM

My wh also got rid of things associated with the As, even though they weren't mementos from the ow. Him keeping a memento would make me blow a gasket.

Ask him. If he's anything but forthcoming about what it is, where it came from, etc I would suspect a lie. But ask him. It may not be anything this disastrous.

seethelight posted 8/19/2014 10:30 AM

My wh also got rid of things associated with the As, even though they weren't mementos from the ow. Him keeping a memento would make me blow a gasket.

Ask him. If he's anything but forthcoming about what it is, where it came from, etc I would suspect a lie. But ask him. It may not be anything this disastrous.

^^^^^^^Yes. My wayward got rid of a car he used to squire around the interloper even though he had to sell it at a $10,000 loss.

[This message edited by seethelight at 10:30 AM, August 19th (Tuesday)]

realgood2u posted 8/19/2014 13:59 PM

No this item has never made it to the laundry. WH does not even have a suit it could have come from. I am interested to see if it shows up now.

Odd things like this make me shake my head. I thought carrying a lady's favors went out with the round table.

Sleepingbeauty posted 8/19/2014 15:16 PM

OW do not classify as ladies in my book.

Ostrich80 posted 8/19/2014 18:24 PM

I know my ws has something because he is that kind of guy. He keeps things the kids made him, right down to a 1st grade picture they drew. I suspect a couple of things but can't confirm. I do know that when I got into his vehicle unexpectedly, he damn near tore the gear shift off, removing a key chain. He knows I'm a snooper so I'm sure he's very careful with what he brings home.
I agree with the others. I would try to find it first, then have it in my hand. He's going to prob say, YOUR EYES DECEIVED YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT.

tushnurse posted 8/19/2014 20:40 PM

Just wondering if he had put a screen film over his phone recently. Those come with a small 22 ish silky lint free cloth to use to smooth the film and get the bubbles out.

If it isn't that then you need to find out what it is.

stunnedin12 posted 8/19/2014 21:07 PM

Ask him.

Wh carried a note from chickie in his wallet .... I found it and never told him, but I DID write on it (I wasn't even rude) so I'm sure he got the willies the next time he was alone and took that little note out of his wallet to gaze lovingly upon it!

I checked his wallet after the last d-day and when I advised him I'd spoken to a lawyer ... that note had been shredded in our wastebasket.

We've never spoken of it.

BtraydWife posted 8/19/2014 22:05 PM

Realgood you are far more patient than I could be.

Time Ticks On posted 8/19/2014 22:50 PM

It really could be innocent. I carry a thin white cloth to clean my glasses and phone. My husband also has one.

Chicky posted 8/19/2014 22:53 PM

Eyeglass, phone, or tablet cleaning cloth? The only reason I think this is plausible is b/c the one my fWH carries around is a pale Carolina blue.

realgood2u posted 8/20/2014 00:35 AM

I suppose it could be a cleaning cloth of some sort. If so, it is not as useful since hitting the floor at Taco Bell. He does wear glasses, but has never carried anything like this before.

Thanks for the input...

Sleepingbeauty posted 8/23/2014 07:53 AM

I am just wondering, how did you make out?

stronger08 posted 8/23/2014 08:28 AM

You'd be surprised at the stupid shit they save. I remember when I was heading towards D and cleaning out the marital home for sale I came across many items for the OM. This mind you, was while my XWW was claiming up and down that she and OM never did anything in our home. I found some stupid little stuffed animal that was a trinket of a sports team that OM followed. One that neither she nor I supported. I also found a couple of shirts that clearly were not mine, not my size or style in with my clothes. I tossed them at her saying "OM must have left these when he was not here" She tried lying her way out of it claiming they belonged to her father. But I said check the size idiot, your father is much larger. She even had kept a razor that OM brought there. When I asked who it belonged to she claimed it was a free sample that came in the mail. Imagine that, a razor complete with blades for free. I kind of pissed on that theory when I showed her it had been used. I directly asked her why she was still lying. We were getting a D, she was no longer with OM. Why keep that stupid shit after so 2 years ? Why lie about it when asked ? She just stood there angry at first, then just ran off crying. On her way out the door I told her to save the tears because I didn't give a fuck any longer. And that I hoped it was all worth it because so many people lost so much.

Sleepingbeauty posted 8/24/2014 14:17 PM

stronger08- my STBXH kept a vibrator and lubricant then claimed he just used it t himself. I have it all bagged up fro a lab if doesn't come clean. I just want the admission and the D.

miadianna posted 8/24/2014 14:43 PM

I found a pic of the first OW in his wallet. She was sitting on a chair in the office, smiling looking into the camera wearing a yellow hard hat with the company logo on it. I'm sure it was his hat. Her picture was where mine used to be. So he removed my picture, replaced it with hers. This was after he was supposed to have ended it. He was in the shower when I found it. I took it out and replaced it with my photo again. He never said a word about it, but I'm sure he knew.

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