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Aubrie posted 8/19/2014 13:46 PM

We're....ok?

Not much discussion. I've talked. He gave me an open door one day with a comment about another situation, and I called him on his crap. Shook him up a bit. Still not much conversation. But there are actions.

Over the weekend I had a small disappointment. He apologized. Genuinely apologized for the sitch. With his hands kneading my shoulders. He didn't shrug and say "bummer. Sorry 'bout that.". His apology language has changed. It feels like he actually cares and doesn't brush it off anymore. Like my hurt/frustration/irritation actually register with him now.

He is still running with me. My allergies are murdering me and it's really a struggle. He works all day, then runs with me. As tired as he is. Pushing and encouraging. Not just on Sunday anymore. But every day I run. He knows what this means for me and is supporting. Even if I fall short of my goal.

One evening after the kids were in bed, he surprised me with something we used to do. It was a moment for just the two of us. It felt peaceful. Happy.

Again, not much talking. But I'm seeing action. Not just with the examples above, but all the way across the board. I'm reading between the lines of his actions to fill in my blanks. I wanna analyze and talk and hash and discuss. He may never do that. So I'm trying to let it go. (No Frozen references please.) I still need talking. But I guess I need to make better decisions on which hills I want to die on. *shrug*

Is this change permanent? Dunno. Hope so. All I can do is roll with it. And be vigilant. And keep working on me.

Jrazz posted 8/19/2014 13:49 PM

Girl! I'm so glad to hear this.

As if we are running exact parallels, Crazz accidentally stepped on my foot last night and his face contorted into something that resembled actual sympathy as he apologized. I was taken aback and almost laughed. But then I let him know I appreciated it.

Oy. Small victories?

caspers1wish posted 8/19/2014 13:52 PM

Sometimes actions speak louder than words. There are good things in your post! I find I need to talk a lot too, and try to turn to a girlfriend instead. Changes will be slow and difficult for him to come out of his comfort zone, it sounds like you're both in the right direction.

Aubrie posted 8/19/2014 13:56 PM

Small victories?
Yep. The optimist inside is hoping these small victories evolve into giant ones. But that sliver of fear is constantly poking me.

One day at a time. That's all I know to do.

SisterMilkshake posted 8/19/2014 13:58 PM

Happy for you, Aubrie, and Jrazz, too. Small victories can win the big battle.

EvolvingSoul posted 8/19/2014 14:00 PM

One day at a time. That's all I know to do.
That's all we can do anyway, really. :) Aubrie I continue to be so amazed and pleased at the way you have learned to deal with difficult emotions and impulse control. You have come a long way. Stay the course, sister, from one EvolvingSoul to another.

JanaGreen posted 8/19/2014 14:06 PM

((HUGS)) to two wonderful ladies. I hope things continue to improve for both of you (Aubrie & Jrazz).

nowiknow23 posted 8/19/2014 14:24 PM

I'm so glad to read this, Aubrie. Sounds like some of those small steps are pretty significant, you know? Hope things continue to improve.

HobbesTheTiger posted 8/19/2014 14:49 PM

Great news!

I would suggest you make sure he knows that you like the things he's begun to do, give him positive feedback/reinforcement.

Best wishes going forward!

Aubrie posted 8/19/2014 16:24 PM

Thanks Gang.

Absolutely Hobbes. He knows.

ES, I still feel like such a mess. I tease Jrazz about being a Spazz, when in reality, I'm the Spazz. It's so hard finding the right balance with it all.

MovingUpward posted 8/19/2014 16:33 PM

Good steps. Just keep at it. Every relationship is continually changing don't be afraid to keep tweeking things.

Jrazz posted 8/19/2014 17:40 PM

(((Aubrie)))

Nothing wrong with a little spazzing here and there.

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