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How Often Did You Go to Counseling in the Beginning?

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5Hurting5 posted 8/19/2014 14:21 PM

WH (EA - DD Sunday, 8/10) and I had our first MC appointment on Thursday, 8/14. At the appointment, he floored me by announcing he doesn't know what love is and doesn't know if he ever loved me (after 17 years of marriage). He even talked to his dad about love in general weeks before.

Anywho, after our 90-minute MC appointment, he was set up for an IC appointment the next week and I called and set one up for myself as well.

Follow me so far?

The last five days have been SO LONG. I want him to dive in and get rolling. I want something to do as well - whether it's for myself or my marriage, just something to make me feel like I'm progressing.

Should I be asking about twice-weekly appointments instead or is weekly normal because it gives us time to process in between?

Maybe I'm just impatient.

BtraydWife posted 8/19/2014 15:07 PM

I think weekly is great place to be. He does need some time on his own to think over his sessions and to change his behavior.

I know the waiting is tough.

Nature_Girl posted 8/19/2014 16:37 PM

I went to IC 2x weekly for many months.

LosferWords posted 8/19/2014 16:41 PM

I went once a week for the first few months, and this was based upon what my IC thought I needed. I think the IC can usually give you a pretty good gauge on how frequent the appointments should be. Maybe you should ask him/her at your next appointment?

Best of luck!

solus sto posted 8/19/2014 17:40 PM

For IC?I had 2 appointments per week, but they were back-to-back; one focused on biofeedback, and the other was more traditional IC.

I would not attend MC with someone who did not know whether he loved me; I would want him in IC until he got a grasp on his feelings. And I'd be in IC, too.

MC without remorse is not only a waste of time and money, but also potentially very injurious to the BS.

It might be normal for your husband to be confused. But that's an issue for IC.

5Hurting5 posted 8/19/2014 17:42 PM

We did MC the first round, solus, because I thought it was all about the EA. When he dropped the love bomb, he was set up for IC and I set an appointment for me as well.

Thanks for your input, everybody!

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