SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

T/J from "clues" threads, where often you here BW mentioning their husband getting on Cialis, Viagra, etc.

My question is: How does this come into play during an A? I mean, it doesn't sound like these men have full blown ED. Is this some SA's do to enhance sex, or something people to do assist in getting it up when they might otherwise have trouble due to guilt.

I've read that ED meds can be a clue (in conjunction with other clues I guess), but Im just wondering what their use is for, assuming the user doesn't have complete ED.

Apparently, as I understand it, the meds make things more reliable. As men age I guess they can't just decide to have sex then proceed. Sometimes it works and sometimes not. The meds remove the doubt.

My H was having ED problems with me prior to the A and so he got a prescription for Viagra. Our sex became less frequent (Viagra is expensive!), but at least it improved.

Then OW took him out for a drink after work one night and they kissed in the parking lot afterwards. He got very hard, unmedicated. They started kissing and canoodling in the office after work, after everyone else had gone home. A month later, they were having sex.

But he soon started to lose it with her as well and always took Viagra to their trysts so he could perform. He was beginning to feel guilty, and then too, the high from the fantasy was beginning to wear off.

And yes, the diminishing supply of Viagra was a major clue.

My WH purchased Cialis for his secret weekend visit with ex GF. They are "just friends". One was missing from their just friends visit. I started keeping track after that. Took 2 Viagra with him when he was hoping to hook up with old classmate. He said I was imagining things. I kept a journal. Not my imagination!

To answer part of the first couple questions, as men age their function gradually decreases with time. Since it's gradual, it's not usually noticeable. Taking Cialis (or Viagra) simply affects blood flow in a way that function returns back to near full potential. So whether a person has full ED, or simply a partial decline that has gone unnoticed, the medication makes you feel like a 25 year old again.

For someone who is 40-45 for example, they may not even realize they aren't what they used to be, so the Cialis then makes them feel like Superman. They may think they're at 125%, when really they've just returned to 100%. For someone who has full normal function, Cialis or Viagra should have no real effect other than perhaps shortening recovery time.

Would a man be using ED meds so he could masturbate? Of course I am asking this for a reason. I think my WH got ED meds during a time when we were not have frequent sex and I know he was masturbating to porn at the time. Of course he swears there was no OW at that time.