Finally, after 2 1/2 years, I feel sadness. There was a lot of anger and I'm finally mourning him. I feel so fragile. I was so tough for so long.
I'm starting IC again, stress management classes, and on AD's again. Hopefully, this helps.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 3:43 PM, August 19th (Tuesday)]
It was like a flood of emotions realizing that it was really over and that my life would never be the same. This happened about 3 months post Divorce when I thought I was pretty much done grieving. It completely took me by surprise. I moved through it though. I'm now pretty peaceful and content. I still have moments of anger and sadness, but my good days far outweigh the bad now.
Me too, I thought I was so over him. But, after 13 years with this man, how could I really expect that. I remember our group therapy sessions, he with his and I with mine, and me telling them I can't cry. Well, now I can.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 3:52 PM, August 19th (Tuesday)]
Lean into it, honey. Let it all be felt and processed so you can move through it. ((((liberty))))
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him
It gets better. It really does.
I'm with Nik: Lean into it. Tamping it down or denying it makes it last longer I think. Stages of grief are relevant here and each one is a step closer to acceptance and the dull ache instead of the sharp pain.
I am sorry.
I guess I'm lucky he has done something so despicable that I really can honestly say I don't love him, nor do I like him. When our divorce is final I hope to never see him again.
I was still having crying jags up until early last year.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
It is so, so normal. I think you had started dating a bit, right? In a way, that was just suppressing all the sense of loss and sadness and mourning and grief. It just has to come out and you have to let it. Slowly you'll start crying less. Think of it as purging and be kind to yourself.
Having love for people who don't deserve it and have abused us is a pretty awful feeling, but it's because you are a kind and loving person. There is nothing wrong with you. Stay NC, and let your feelings run their course. There is nothing wrong with you.
I was a complete emotional jellyfish for about a year and a half, I mean if I ran out of milk I would cry! No joke! I laugh at it now, but it was real back then.
The next year was better, but I would have spells where I would start obcessing and crying until I found a way to stop obcessing.
Now, 4 years out, I still think about it almost every day, but the sharp pain is gone and mostly anger and sadness remain. Some days I feel truly happy and do experience genuine joy, something I thought I would never feel again.
It does unfortunately take a lot of time. Just grieve when you need to and you will move through it.
One thing I realized the other day is that I am healing, but XWW has not processed this yet and she has a long way to go. I know her well and I know she feels shame and guilt. I have also been told by a mutual friend that she does not trust OM and that she is embarrassed by him at times.
I am near the end of my healing, she has yet to begin.
Hang in there and know that we are all with you in spirit when you are crying, we get it and we really do wish the best for you.
Peace to us all.
There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.
After this we should be emotional power houses. This will maybe harden us and make us stronger
(((( liberty rocks)))))))
Yes, I did date for a few months. Now, I want nothing to do with dating. I'm not in a healthy emotional place. It did more damage than good and kept me occupied from facing these harsh feelings of grief. It's time to face the music.
I was a complete emotional jellyfish for about a year and a half, I mean if I ran out of milk I would cry!
After my third move in two years, I remember weeping on the phone to the only man in my life at the time, my contractor (also a family friend who was close to my just-deceased mom) that I couldn't find my cheese grater.
I wanted to make a fucking omelette and couldn't find the damn thing in my sea of boxes.
I just stood in the kitchen and sobbed uncontrollably.
Sometimes you just have to hit the wall.
It gets better.